Stapleton resident Michael Dinnebier is married with three kids, a six, four, and two year old. They live a normal Stapleton life, which is to say they have an above average standard of living and their kids want for nothing. Due to having three kids, they have an abundance of toys, scooters, bikes, balls, sleds, wagons, kites, pool toys, and anything else you can think of. All of this stuff, takes up a lot of space. “It’s really incredible how much stuff we have,” said Dinnebier. “Every time I feel like we are purging stuff, more stuff takes its place. I don’t even know where it comes from. Probably Stapleton Swap.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Man Realizes He Will "Probably Never" be Able to Park in Garage Again

Maya Addison turned six last week, and her family threw a big birthday party for her at her home. Almost 20 little kids came to the Disney-themed party, and there were lots of balloons, cake, decorations, music, party favors, and anything else you can think of. Although everything went well, Maya’s mom Karen decided this would be the final birthday party thrown in their home. “That’s it,” said Karen. “We are done having birthday parties in this house. Too many kids, too many messes, too much stuff. Moving forward, we will be having destination birthday parties like everyone else does when their kids get to be this age.” Karen says that although it seems like you save money by not renting a facility, there really isn’t that much of a savings if at all. “After buying all the theme stuff and decorations, you might as well have just had it at a pool, the Bladium, or a trampoline park or something,” said Karen. “Plus, you’re not in charge of the cleanup. In hindsight, that really would have been the way to go.” Karen admits she will miss throwing birthday parties in the house. “More than anything, it’s a sign the kids are getting older,” said Karen. “It used to be so fun when you could just have your friends come over and one or two of their little friends to celebrate those early birthdays. Now, they have school, sports, and other activities, and you don’t want to leave kids out. So, you end up inviting all these kids. It’s just too many to have in a house.” Karen says she is already reviewing options for next year’s party. “Really, it just has to be somewhere else. Anywhere but our house.”]]>

Recently, the Stapleton MCA passed a controversial policy in regards to screening potential buyers before they would be allowed to move into Stapleton. “I call it extreme vetting,” said MCA President Paul Harris. “Extreme vetting. Extreme. Stapleton has almost no problems being caused by anyone coming in here. But, it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Harris has said the new vetting process is in its infant stages, but they do have the beginnings of the general requirements. “Obviously, you either have to have kids, or plan to have kids,” said Harris. “Dog ownership is also a plus.” Harris refused to go into more specifics, but an unidentified source within the MCA spoke with The Stapletonion and mentioned several other of the screening processes being considered. “On the extreme vetting sheet we received, there are definitely some troubling items,” said the anonymous source. “One of the items concerns how hot the mom, or soon to be mom is. It is encouraged that they be at least a seven on a scale of ten. They even have photo examples of what a seven would be as a reference.” There is also an item regarding wealth. “They want to know what kind of car they drive, and what year,” said the source. “It lists preferences such as BMW’s, Volvo, Audi, and so on. But, there are also acceptable things such as newer Toyota 4 Runners, Subaru Outbacks, and whatnot.” Possibly most disturbing in regards to the extreme vetting list is the screening on race. “It does ask for ethnic background,” says the source. “It doesn’t say that it won’t take other races, but it says behind the question in parenthesis ‘white is strongly preferred.’” The MCA says the vetting process will go through a four month trial run to see if it is effective and to see if any changes or additions need to be made. “Nothing is perfect the first time through,” said President Harris. “There most certainly will be some things we missed, and we will reassess that after the trial period.” At this point, the community does not seem to be behind the new process. “I think it’s pretty disgusting,” said resident Nikki Adkins. “So, if someone wants to buy a home in Stapleton and can, they are putting them through an extra process on top of that? That’s embarrassing.” Resident Kyle Jackson agrees and feels adding the screening process is unnecessary. “Don’t the prices of the homes in Stapleton dictate most of these criteria already?” asked Jackson. “The market has already spoken, and that is who it says can live here. Don’t think we need a checklist for that.” The MCA says that a small panel including President Harris will review the applications and move them along if the candidates meet the requirements. “We want people to be able to enjoy Stapleton,” said Harris. “Provided they meet our guidelines.” The guidelines may seem a little strict at first; however, it is termed ‘extreme vetting.’ Editor’s Note:  The MCA referenced in the above article is completely fictitious, and in no way reflects the values of the actual Stapleton MCA.  ]]>

Recently, the Solid Waste Management Division of Denver delivered new garbage cans to many unsuspecting Denver residents. The new cans are similar to the recycle cans, and the massive effort is an attempt to reduce the labor intensive job of trash pickup, and create a more automated process. Residents had been asked to request either a small, medium, or large bin. For the many who did not respond, the default was the medium-sized bin. The change appears to be a good idea, and may even encourage people to recycle more or consider composting. The problem for many Stapleton residents is, there just seems to be a lot of trash here. “The first pick up week did not go well,” said resident Dave Noelting. “I thought the can we had would be big enough, but I forgot how much we overflow the two trash cans I normally set out. Plus, we usually have extra bags we set around those cans, and that has never been a problem. This change is going to affect our lifestyle.” Other residents worry about holidays. “What is going to happen after Christmas,” asks Amy Penny. “We normally have ten big bags out there the next week. Now what?” [Read more…] about “Extra Trash Service Day” About to Become Very Big in Stapleton

Stapleton couple Troy and Brooke Miller have twin boys who just turned one less than a week ago. As many Stapleton residents know, having a one year old around the house can be pretty challenging, and even more so if you have two of them. To complicate things further, both boys are beginning to walk, so they are constantly on the move, putting themselves in all sorts of new precocious positions. “It’s crazy how fast they are starting to get around,” said Brooke. “And of course, they want to get into everything. It’s a little scary because they don’t understand heights, corners, hard things versus soft things and so on. And then, apparently everything must be food.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Couple Chooses Paying Attention to Kids Over Babyproofing

For most Stapleton elementary schoolers, this week was their first week back at school. For kids, summer has officially come to an end. No more late nights, week long vacations, or entire days spent at the pool. Time to buckle down and get ready for some book learnin’. Many elementary students were ready to go back to school. Sick of spending time with their siblings and looking forward to rekindling old friendships and making new ones. So when kids went back to school, it was no surprise to parents that their kids had no trouble heading right to class. “It has been pretty easy,” said Lisa Carmen, parent at Westerly Creek Elementary. “No drama at all. Both the kids, a second and a fourth grader, played with friends, said a quick goodbye and went right to class. It’s been great.” Caroline Gibbons had a similar experience at Isabella Bird. “We thought since it was her first year at Izzy B there may be drama,” said Gibbons. “But she had no trouble at all. It speaks to the quality of people Izzy B has and to the resiliency of the kids.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Kindergartner Unable to Provide Evidence She Attended First Week of School

Quietly, a conversation has started all across Stapleton in regards to what makes someone a true Stapletonian. Inevitably, the discussion centers around how long someone has lived in Stapleton versus how much money they have. Those on the side of residency have compelling arguments. “True Stapletonians are the ones who were the pioneers long before Stapleton was hip,” said longtime resident Scott Hanson. “We moved here knowing we had to be patient and wait for the trees to grow, the parks to take hold, and restaurants to stay in business more than three months. We had to endure all the stepford and Pleasantville jokes. So, yeah, we are the real Stapletonians.” Annie Meehan agrees. “It doesn’t take any sense of adventure to move here now,” says Meehan. “You just need to have a fat wallet. When we moved here, we had to have faith that things were going to work out with schools and local businesses. There was no ‘train to the plane,’ there was a crappy bus and the old airport parking lot. Heck, we didn’t even know what they were going to do with that tower. There was a time when people wanted to blow that thing up.” [Read more…] about Great Debate: What Makes a Real Stapletonian; Length of Residency or Affluence?

The Northfield Mall in Stapleton has certainly had its challenges when it comes to attracting Stapleton shoppers. Many shops have come and gone, or they simply aren’t a good fit for Stapleton shoppers. There are absolutely some great shops in Northfield, and Northfield continues to try to build a base to attract the valuable Stapleton shoppers. Of course, residents are always going to Target, or taking their kids to the movie theatre. But, Northfield is trying to expand beyond that. The new neighborhoods will likely help Northfield continue to grow into a Stapleton-friendly shopping environment. [Read more…] about Woman Becomes First Stapletonian to Pay for Parking in Northfield