Recently, the Stapleton MCA passed a controversial policy in regards to screening potential buyers before they would be allowed to move into Stapleton. “I call it extreme vetting,” said MCA President Paul Harris. “Extreme vetting. Extreme. Stapleton has almost no problems being caused by anyone coming in here. But, it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Harris has said the new vetting process is in its infant stages, but they do have the beginnings of the general requirements. “Obviously, you either have to have kids, or plan to have kids,” said Harris. “Dog ownership is also a plus.” Harris refused to go into more specifics, but an unidentified source within the MCA spoke with The Stapletonion and mentioned several other of the screening processes being considered. “On the extreme vetting sheet we received, there are definitely some troubling items,” said the anonymous source. “One of the items concerns how hot the mom, or soon to be mom is. It is encouraged that they be at least a seven on a scale of ten. They even have photo examples of what a seven would be as a reference.” There is also an item regarding wealth. “They want to know what kind of car they drive, and what year,” said the source. “It lists preferences such as BMW’s, Volvo, Audi, and so on. But, there are also acceptable things such as newer Toyota 4 Runners, Subaru Outbacks, and whatnot.” Possibly most disturbing in regards to the extreme vetting list is the screening on race. “It does ask for ethnic background,” says the source. “It doesn’t say that it won’t take other races, but it says behind the question in parenthesis ‘white is strongly preferred.’” The MCA says the vetting process will go through a four month trial run to see if it is effective and to see if any changes or additions need to be made. “Nothing is perfect the first time through,” said President Harris. “There most certainly will be some things we missed, and we will reassess that after the trial period.” At this point, the community does not seem to be behind the new process. “I think it’s pretty disgusting,” said resident Nikki Adkins. “So, if someone wants to buy a home in Stapleton and can, they are putting them through an extra process on top of that? That’s embarrassing.” Resident Kyle Jackson agrees and feels adding the screening process is unnecessary. “Don’t the prices of the homes in Stapleton dictate most of these criteria already?” asked Jackson. “The market has already spoken, and that is who it says can live here. Don’t think we need a checklist for that.” The MCA says that a small panel including President Harris will review the applications and move them along if the candidates meet the requirements. “We want people to be able to enjoy Stapleton,” said Harris. “Provided they meet our guidelines.” The guidelines may seem a little strict at first; however, it is termed ‘extreme vetting.’ Editor’s Note: The MCA referenced in the above article is completely fictitious, and in no way reflects the values of the actual Stapleton MCA. ]]>