This past Saturday, an unidentified homeless man wandered into the Williams Family Dentistry. The alarms went off, but the man was undeterred. He needed a cup of coffee. He grabbed one of the Keurig cups, started the coffee maker and patiently waited for his coffee. After he got his cup, he calmly left the scene and continued his walk. [Read more…] about Homeless Man: “Coffee at Williams Family Dentistry Worth the Walk”

Stapleton homeowner Greg Gill has no interest in yard work. He prefers to use his free time to play with his kids, go to baseball games, or play golf. So, when he realized a week ago that he would finally have to do something about the weeds in his yard, he turned to a higher power. “I’m not religious,” said Gill. “But, I was not excited about doing any yard work, especially when it comes to pulling and spraying weeds. So, in a weak moment, I prayed that the weeds would just go away.” Well, Gill’s prayers were answered when Stapleton experienced a massive barrage of hail storms last week. “It was truly a miracle,” says Gill. “That hail ripped through those dandelions. It was really a beautiful site. Any of them that are alive, are covered by the leaves that were torn from the trees which is an added bonus.” Gill does have some remorse for the terrible hail storms. “My neighbors had just planted some tomatoes, and didn’t have their flowers pulled in, so they kind of got a tough break on that. I guess you could consider it collateral damage, however. It’s not all gonna work out for everybody.” [Read more…] about Prayers Answered: Stapleton Resident’s Weeds Killed by Hail

You all either saw them or tried to sell them. Bizarre garage sale items. Items ranged from an old shoe (not the pair) to miscellaneous toys with missing parts and accessories. Stapleton people were giving other residents and outsiders the opportunity to grab their junk before simply discarding it. The best item I saw was a very old, denim, Buffalo Bills hat. I don’t think the item sold. The Stapletonion wants to know the best items you either sold, tried to sell, or saw for sale. We will post the list of these items in Issue 82 (June 11th) of The Stapletonion. Send items to Stapletonion@gmail.com with the subject line “garage sale.” ]]>

Submission One I’ve always had a potty mouth. Later on, as a mom, I really didn’t let up. This was first demonstrated by my oldest daughter yelling the f-word during mass at 1 ½ years old when she dropped her toy (in front of my mother-in-law who is very Catholic and very southern and very proper, I might add). Now, as a mom-of-three, it’s just a coping mechanism – swearing – some words just make me feel better. Or, sometimes there is no other word that fits or accurately expresses what I’m trying to say or what I feel. I don’t swear AT my kids, I swear AROUND them. It’s just cathartic…and they’ve grown used to it (though started to comment on it). “Where the hell are my keys?” “F’ing dog – she sh*t the floor again!” “Dammit – I forgot to pick up milk!” My favorite? “Are you f’ing kidding me” said to no one in particular – the food I just burned, the mess I just made, the errand I forgot to run, the ridiculous email I receive, or the bad driver in front of me. My 8-year old said it for me once this year when something happened and I was staring at a mess without words – she smiled and said, “Are you f’ing kidding me?” I almost peed my pants – but also realized it was time for a change. So I decided to TRY to stop swearing in front of the kids. When I announced my 2014 New Year’s Resolution to stop swearing? My kids were actually excited and cheered me on! After a rocky start, I announced that I was starting a “swear jar,” whereby I would place $1 for every swear word I let slip in front of the kids. Within two weeks it had almost $50. Thereafter, my kids started feeling sorry for me and giving me “freebies.” They’d say, “Mom, you’re frustrated at the plumber or vacuum or whatever, don’t put a dollar in the jar for that one.” Or, “Mom, I was pretty bad and fresh to you this morning, so don’t put any money in the jar for that one.” WTF?!?! My swear job experiment wasn’t helping me, but it was helping teach my children to be empatheticic towards me? That’s a twisted turn of events. How much is in the jar now? Let’s just say that we might be headed for a family dinner at the Capital Grille in the very near future. Submission Two My ten year old son and I went to Chicago. We checked into our hotel room at eight and we were starving. There was a Malnetti’s pizza 5 blocks away. My son and I walked there and a table was a two hour wait so we ordered take out (which was just an hour). We went back to our room and he was exhausted so I locked him in a hotel room so I could pick up the pizza and swing by 7-11 to buy some beer. It seemed perfectly normal to me until I got home and told my friends how delicious the pizza and beer were and my friends focused on me leaving my son alone in Chicago while I wandered around picking up beer and pizza. It is possible that it was a bad parental move. I have been called at work more than once by my kids wanting to know if I am picking them up from school. If it is raining in the morning I drive them and then I forget that they cannot bike home. I was at my son’s school as a guest speaker one time and he interrupted me and I flipped him off. Surprisingly, I am still allowed in the school. ]]>

The announcement that Frozen will be the Stapleton MCA’s final “Movie on the Green” this summer has sent shockwaves through the neighborhood, triggering a heated debate over whether August 29 should be deemed one of Stapleton’s “High Holy Days” for 2014. Stapleton’s annual triumvirate of High Holy Days, as universally recognized by neighborhood elders, are the Day the Pools Open, the Saturday of the Community-Wide Garage Sale, and of course the holiest Stapleton day of all, Halloween. Lesser neighborhood Holy Days include Easter Egg Hunt Day, Fourth of July Parade Day, Swim Lesson Registration Day, the Sunday of the Community-Wide Garage Sale, the Day the Pools Close, the First Day of School (a.k.a. Stay-At-Home Parent Party Day), Winter Welcome Night, and Stapleton Beer Fest. Typically, the most popular “Movie on the Green” in a given summer would, at best, join the list of lesser Holy Days. But many Stapleton scholars argue that Frozen is a unique case. [Read more…] about New "Stapleton High Holy Day" Spurs Debate

Combining fast-casual breakfast dining with acclaimed pre-school education techniques in one convenient location, MCHD and IHOP today announced a merger to form the International Children’s House of Montessori Pancakes, or “I-CHOMP.” “Our mission has always been to foster the development of the whole child, but what was missing was a diet high in fat, sugar, and processed carbohydrates. Now that whole child can be bigger,” MCHD spokesman Tricia Schwaub stated at a press conference. [Read more…] about Montessori Children’s House of Denver to merge with International House of Pancakes

A recent hot topic on Next Door Stapleton was the issue of kids playing in Stapleton streets. “It starts to really slow down traffic,” says resident Josh Meyers. “I mean, you have to drive about 10 miles per hour in fear a kid is going to dart out in front of you. It can sometimes add anywhere from 30 to 90 seconds to a trip.” Other parents are less worried about the drive time, but worried about the inherent danger of kids playing in the busy Stapleton streets. “We’re not living in a suburb, after all,” says Stapleton parent Allie Morgan. “We live in Denver, in what is considered an urban community. Urban communities have lots of traffic, among other dangerous things. People need to get their kids out of the streets. If anything, have them play in the alleys.” [Read more…] about Street Smarts: Should Stapleton Kids Be Playing in Our Streets?

You have most likely seen them all over Stapleton. The Royal Crest Dairy boxes in front of Stapleton homes, signifying that the people who live there care about their kids’ health, and are not afraid to pay for it. “We just knew we wanted to go with an all-natural dairy provider,” says Stapleton resident and Dairy Crest subscriber Denise Wolfe. “They have great offerings, and we can feel guilt free about what we are putting in our bodies.” Parents like Wolfe are the main reason many parents end up subscribing to Royal Crest as well. “Denise was over one night with her kids and actually brought her own milk,” says neighbor Sarah Bell. “It was pretty insulting, I thought, and I felt pretty bad about it. Who does that? I asked her why, and she said she noticed that I didn’t have a Royal Crest box outside of my house, and that she would prefer it if her kids were getting ‘the good milk.’ I didn’t want to join Royal Crest out of spite against Denise, but I also have my kids’ popularity to consider. I can’t have a situation where kids aren’t coming over because their parents won’t let them because of my milk.” [Read more…] about Report: 70% of Stapleton Families Using Royal Crest to “Fit In”