Former Block Captain Amanda Baldwin returned to Stapleton this week to look at the ruins she used to call home.  “It’s as if the current block captain hasn’t done anything except forward emails,” says Baldwin who had moved from Stapleton less than a year ago. Her legacy still lives in the community and on her former block.  “The new block captain is a nice person, but they lack the leadership and heart that Amanda does,” mentioned a block resident on the condition of anonymity. [Read more…] about Old Block Captain Surveys Damage Done by New Block Captain

[Read more…] about Catwalk Finally Installed at Aviator

[Read more…] about Imposters in Da Hood

Congratulations to all of you who voted. Voting is a civic duty that every non-felon, 18-year old should exercise. Whether you vote for politicians that don’t know who Paul Revere is, or those who twitter their twitters, we at the Stapletonion support you.  Thanks for voting. Many people support their candidates by going door to door, contributing money, arranging public speaking, and even putting up yard signs. Yard signs are a great way to let people know where you stand, and in some cases, that you’re not racist. But it is time to take them down. Hopefully, the eight months you had a yard sign up representing a minority candidate was enough to convince your friends and neighbors that, “you don’t even see color.”  We appreciate that. But the fact remains that the election is over, and your advertisement for your candidate doesn’t even help the candidate. It does make it appear as if you are not aware the election is over, and also desecrates your yard. Have you seen any “Go Packers!  Beat the Steelers!” signs in yards? Probably not, as the Super Bowl has been over for 4 months. Feel free to store your sign in the basement in case your candidate decides to run for re-election, but take it down today. We do not want a repeat of the ’08 election where Caucasian Obama supporters kept their signs up for 16 months after the election. Again, thank you for getting involved in the election process.    ]]>

A comprehensive study recently conducted by the University of Colorado concluded what many Stapleton residents have known for years:  residents in the Nantucket Close are significantly better than everyone else.  The study looked at several factors including appearance, income, intelligence, athleticism, musical ability, artistic ability, and even charisma.  “We scored each one of these categoriess, and then had a comprehensive score, which we call a person’s Clooney Score,” said Dr. Chris Frazier of the University.  “The highest score one can get is 1000.  The average Nantucket Close resident scores an 894, the average Stapleton resident scores a 637, and an average American would score 482.  In Nebraska, the average person is a 268.” [Read more…] about Report: Nantucket Close Residents ARE Better Than You

Residents are eagerly awaiting the opening of the new Stapleton Library, but unfortunately, the grand opening has bad timing, according to most analysts.  “Sadly, libraries are quickly going the direction of the newspaper,” said Wall Street Journal .com analyst Jake Wharton.  “With Wikipedia, who needs microfiche; with the Kindle, who needs physical books; with the iPad, who needs anything else,” questioned Wharton. [Read more…] about Stapleton Library Slated to Open Exactly One Day After Libraries Become Irrelevant

Chad Muchmore is a stay at home dad, who was looking for a way to get in shape.  Problem is, he is in charge of looking after his 8 month old child.  After researching several options, he decided to go with one of the local stroller classes.  “It looked like the best thing for me,” said Muchmore.  “I liked the format, and I would still be able to look after my baby.”  At the time, Chad did not realize that the Stroller Class he joined was comprised completely of women. [Read more…] about Trailblazing Dad Gains Acceptance at Stroller Class