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Stapleton Five Year Old Already Outgrowing New F*cking Pajamas

October 5, 2017 by Staff Writer

Stapleton five year old Beckett Shannon just turned five a month ago, yet that little f*cker is already outgrowing brand new pajamas his mom purchased for him. “It’s really frustrating,” said mom Nancy. “I mean, they are such cute pajamas, and they say ‘5’ on them. The first time he put them on, they fit totally fine. And now, it looks like I have been drying them constantly for a week. When do kids stop growing? This is getting annoying and expensive.” Nancy says this seems to be happening more frequently now than at other points of Beckett’s life. “I’m aware kids grow,” said Nancy. “But, we usually get some wear out of things, then get some new stuff. It seems like we are just getting something, and suddenly, that stuff doesn’t fit him, after wearing it once or twice. I mean, what’s the point anymore.” Nancy says she will continue to buy clothes for her child, but may be more economical about it. “I think I may go Stapleton Swap only,” said Nancy. “You can get quality items on there for almost nothing. Right now, I’m the one giving away brand new items for basically nothing. I want to be on the other end of this thing.” So, if you have 6/7 pajamas to get rid of, please post on Swap as soon as you can. 

Stapleton Man Resents Friend No Longer Needing Babysitters

October 5, 2017 by Staff Writer

John Ubben and Duane Koellner have been Stapleton friends for 10 years. They go golfing, go to games, and have nights out with their wives. “We’ve spent a lot of time together over the years,” said Ubben. “We’re fairly like-minded, so we have a lot of fun and never have to worry about boring conversations.” Although Ubben and Koellner are about the same age, Ubben has young kids, five and seven, and Koellner has a 16 year old and a 14 year old. “We never really do much as families, because obviously the age difference is too big,” said Koellner. “In fact, my daughter babysits their kids sometimes.” Most Stapleton friendships are forged on having kids around the same age(s) that can keep each other distracted for a while, but these couples make time for each other without their kids. Recently, however, Ubben has become a little resentful.

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Residents Given Opportunity To Contribute To A Great Cause

October 5, 2017 by Staff Writer

Join fellow do-gooders – New Perspective Real Estate and The Stapletonion, in collecting food for the Food Bank of the Rockies and local school pantries. Hunger is a serious issue, and not just for Colorado’s stoners struggling with the munchies. Here are some creative ideas to donate to this worthy cause: Clear out all the protein shakes, quinoa, and chia seeds that were necessary for your last health kick, OR Clear out the Rotel & Velveeta you bought for Football Sundays, OR Head to Target or King Soopers and pat yourself on the back for cleverly DOUBLE donating: non-perishable goods for the food drive AND 5% of your purchase to the school of your choice. Boom! Next, take food items to your nearest drop-off location. To be sure you get credit for your admirable generosity, post plenty of selfies of yourself hoisting donations into the barrel… the more bags, the better! And don’t be afraid to Like your own post…you know, to help spread the word. Donation barrels can be found at the following awesome businesses:

  • Amore Fiori
  • Boulder Creek Neighborhoods
  • Clair Family Dentistry
  • Dance Institute
  • David Weekley Homes
  • Four Friends Kitchen
  • KB Home
  • Lennar Homes
  • Mici Handcrafted Italian
  • Northfield Veterinary Hospital
  • NPRE
  • Orange Theory
  • Parkwood Homes
  • Stapleton Orthodontics
  • Sweet Life Beauty Bar
  • Thrive Home Builders
  • Wonderland Homes

Schools will be collecting for their food pantries and include:

  • Ashley Elementary
  • Bill Roberts
  • Denver Discovery Middle School
  • Fletcher Community School
  • Isabella Bird
  • McAuliffe International School
  • Northfield High School
  • Rocky Mountain Prep at Fletcher Community School
  • Swigert Elementary
  • Westerly Creek

Special thanks to our sponsors helping behind the scenes: Etai’s, First Integrity Title Co., Ben Gehde-Home Mortgage Alliance, North American Title, Stapleton Home Services and The Stapletonion. If dropping off is too difficult, look for a white & blue paper grocery bag to be delivered to your home on September 30th, fill it from your pantry (go back to creative ideas) and leave on your front porch by 9 am on Saturday, October 7th, and volunteers will come around to collect it. And speaking of volunteers…. Volunteers Needed NPRE is looking for volunteers to help with the drop off and pick up of the donation bags. This is a great way to get your family involved in a wonderful cause, and kids love running to the doors to drop off and pick up the bags. (Caution them not to ring the doorbell, though, lest they wind up on Facebooks’ Stapleton Community Watch  page for their antics, bringing shame to the entire family.) The more volunteers the better! Volunteers for the drop off will receive lunch from Micis on Saturday, September 30th. Volunteers for the pickup will receive breakfast and coffee from Etais on Saturday, October 7th. For more information, and to volunteer, please sign up at www.StapletonFoodDrive.com. Finally, the easiest way to donate is to pull out your credit card. Click here to go to the Food Bank of the Rockies or our website.

Dozens of Next Door “I’m Sorries” Help Locate Lost Dog

September 25, 2017 by Staff Writer

The Muchmore’s two year old lab Jake recently escaped from their back yard. “His collar was off, so we were extremely worried about him,” said owner Caroline Muchmore. “The back gate must have been open, and he went out the back. We checked the park and the block where he has been found before but we couldn’t find him. We had to get the word out.” The Muchmores used social media to get the word out. “Joe and I posted on our Facebook pages, and then all of the community Facebook pages. Traffic has become much busier in Stapleton, so we were very worried about him getting hit by a car. We had planned on splitting up and driving around, but before we left I had one more place to post; Next Door. Caroline quickly posted a picture and a description of Jake as well as their neighborhood so people could be on the lookout. The response from neighbors was overwhelming. “I’m not sure if anyone actually went out to try to find Jake,” said Joe. “But, online, people seemed really concerned about our situation.” The Muchmores received dozens of comments on the Next Door post regarding Jake. “None of them were helpful in the sense they gave us specific information about where Jake was at,” said Caroline. “But, there were so many three to four word responses saying things like, ‘so sorry’ or ‘I’m really sorry,’ and even, ‘hope you find him!’ I could tell it was really heartfelt. Much like when people write ‘happy birthday,’ on my Facebook wall on my birthday. It was really great to see the outreach from the community.” The Muchmores eventually found Jake about five blocks from their house in someone’s front yard. “We never did get any info about his whereabouts from all of our social media posting,” said Caroline. “But, we do believe had we not had so many ‘I’m sorries’ from caring neighbors on social media, in particular Next Door, we never would have found our beloved Jake.” A strong community with a strong social media presence can accomplish anything.

FEMA Rescues Stapleton Comcast Users; Victims Transported to Hotel Teatro, Brown Palace

September 25, 2017 by Staff Writer

In what FEMA is calling nothing less than a miracle, the estimated 2,000 Stapleton households affected by the Comcast outage last week were safely transported to luxury five star hotels in the Denver area via high end helicopters. “This was probably our biggest win during this tough time,” said FEMA Director Craig Fugate. “These residents had over six hours without cable or internet service. And understand these are family people. There are kids to think about. Our agency definitely came through, and I know for the rescuers and the victims, it’s something they will never forget.”

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Stapleton Mom Can’t Find One F#cking Tupperware Lid

September 25, 2017 by Staff Writer

Stapleton mom Jenny Shoemaker works hard every day to make good meals for her kids. Whether it’s packing a healthy school lunch or making a nice dinner, Jenny works to do her best for her family. Jenny also tries to be environmentally conscience so she uses Tupperware containers instead of plastic bags to pack for the kids and to store leftovers. “I just think it is the environmentally smart thing to do,” said Jenny. “So, I try to use reusable containers any time I can. It can get annoying finding the right size container in the cabinet or finding the one I am looking for not dirty in the dishwasher already. But, I suppose it’s a small sacrifice to make to not fill up our landfills with plastic bags.” Recently, Jenny was put to the test on her environmentally sound conviction, however. “For the life of me, I couldn’t find one f#cking Tupperware lid,” said Jenny. “Not one. I mean, I found plenty of containers of the size I needed. Plenty of containers with lids the size I didn’t need. But of course, no lids anywhere of the size I was looking for.” Jenny said she put in a strong search effort before eventually giving up and using a zip loc bag. “I looked in lunch boxes, the dishwasher, backseat of my car, everywhere I could think of. Couldn’t find one of those bastard lids. So, I sacrificed the environment for my sanity and used a zip loc bag. Sue me.” Jenny says she plans to go back to using Tupperware once matching lids and containers start showing up again. “Once I find the right lids with right containers, I’m back to Tupperware. I’m not buying anymore, however. Been through that cycle too many times already.” If you find any of Jenny’s missing Tupperware lids, please post on Next Door or Community Watch.

School Choice: Steps to Take After You Don’t Get in to Swigert

September 25, 2017 by Staff Writer

School Choice will be coming up soon, and parents need to understand what “choice” means and how to navigate the rules and make their selection. Obviously, the first step everyone takes is selecting Swigert. The second step for most people is not getting in to Swigert. “People need to understand the majority of them will not get their kids in to Swigert,” said DPS Choice expert Katie Hanlon. “They can’t simply check the Swigert box and think that is all they need to do. There’s a lot more. A heck of a lot more.” Hanlon says too many parents think because they live close to Swigert or have a friend whose child attends Swigert or even know an administrator there they will get a spot. That’s just not the case. “DPS uses complex algorithms that interpret data and make these decisions,” said Hanlon. “They try to leave the human element out of it, so there are no outside influencers.” Hanlon says there is a particular step people are taking during school choice which isn’t part of the process. “Step three for most people is bitching about not getting into Swigert. Why they should be in, how come someone else got in, and of course, denial, believing there is still some hidden door that is going to open up and welcome them to Swigert. But, that door doesn’t exist.” Hanlon says just because someone doesn’t get in to Swigert, they can still have a positive school experience in Stapleton. “Make sure to check a second and third option in Stapleton. Do just a little research, how far are you from each school, do you have any friends who have kids who attend schools other than Swigert, etc. You will get in to one of those schools and have a positive experience. You just need to take off the Swigert blinders.” Hanlon says well over 90% of Stapleton parents end up being happy with their school. So, be happy you live in Stapleton, and not angry you didn’t get into Swigert. Because you won’t get in to Swigert. 

New Site Allows Stapleton Parents to Review Kids After Sleepover

September 25, 2017 by Staff Writer

It seems that “sleepovers” are becoming much more common and at younger ages. In some cases, parents are taking a night off for themselves, but in most cases, it’s friends wanting to have their friends stay overnight. The typical process for a sleepover is the child asks the parent for a sleepover with a friend, the parents contact the other parents, they work through the logistics, and then they have the sleepover. Stapleton parent Andrea Miller is looking to change that. “We’ve had a handful of sleepovers at our house and it occurred to me that there was a step that was missing,” said Miller. “Just talking with the other parents and arranging drop off and pick off times wasn’t enough.

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