Issue 59

Move over Ritz Carlton, Park Avenue, Drake Hotel and 157 57th St. There is a new name in high end apartments. Forest City will soon begin construction on the Aster Conservatory Green located near the scenic Shops of Northfield. “We wanted a name that said ‘elegance,’ said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “We also needed a name that reminded everyone in Denver that Stapleton people are much better than everyone else. We think Aster Conservatory Green does that.” The Aster Conservatory Green is scheduled to be completed sometime late in 2015 and will include several amenities. The complex will offer custom cabinets, high ceilings, built in wine storage, hardwood floors, a community pool and clubhouse, and of course, an overall air of entitlement. “I have seen the designs, and it is definitely Stapletonesque,” said resident Aaron Potter. “I would absolutely consider living there once my wife and I get divorced.” Forest City says that they already have a lot of interest, and believe the places will be reserved a full year in advance of opening. “This is going to be a special place,” said Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “Northfield is such a special place. The Aster Conservatory Green will be located on the upper west side of Northfield, and people are going to be close to so many wonderful shops and restaurants. Also, we made sure to put a price tag on these places that only Stapleton-type people can afford.” Those interested in getting more information on the Aster Conservatory green can go to www.aster.com. ]]>

Just before ground broke on Stapleton’s newest elementary school, DPS officials sent an email to community leaders alerting them of the new development. “I literally found out about this the day they started digging,” said SUN President Mike Victoria. “It would have been nice for them to make it at least appear that they cared about the opinions of the members of the community.” MCA President Liza Kampsta agreed. “We have tried so hard to keep community members involved in big decisions,” said Kampsta. “We stay connected with Forest City, and all the different city government institutions. “I really don’t know what happened here.” [Read more…] about Officials for New High Tech Elementary Struggle in Using Email, Smart Phones

Stapleton recently had another pride pool party, celebrating individual rights. For a majority of Americans, parties like this are not a big deal. And an even higher percentage of Stapleton residents support this type of community event. But for at least one Supreme Court justice, this type of party is not something that should be allowed in the United States. [Read more…] about Scalia to Stapleton: “Pride Pool Party Unconstitutional”

An article in a local publication recently sparked concern over whether or not residents should be concerned about people drinking while at the Stapleton pools. “The article made it sound like banning booze could be on the table,” said local drinker and pool-goer Tim Cox. “I certainly enjoy beverages at the pool, and I have never even heard of a negative incident involving alcohol. All of the things I hear about involving alcohol and the Stapleton Pools are positive.” [Read more…] about Drunk Pool-Goers Becoming Major Problem for Almost No One

The SUN Board (Stapleton United Neighbors) is most likely one of the most active neighborhood associations. They make an effort to work closely with Forest City, the Stapleton MCA, and the city of Denver to ensure that members of the community are represented in decision-making processes. [Read more…] about SUN Appoints Committee to Determine Whether SUN Has Too Many Committees

A lot of parents struggle to get through the Fourth of July fireworks. Whether it is parking and waiting at Coors Field, or driving to some distant location to get a decent look at the firework displays across the city. And then there are the dads who have a strong interest in pyrotechnics and prefer to create the firework displays all on their own. The major benefit of this is not having to go anywhere, and usually, kids are just as impressed with these backyard displays as they are with the grand fireworks shows put on by the city or local sports teams. [Read more…] about Drunk Stapleton Dads Impress Children with Backyard Firework Displays

The infamous Havana St. Exit has reopened again after being closed for several days. Little work was done to the Smith Road and Havana intersection to improve traffic at this point, however, it does appear that two pointless speed bumps have been added to the street that passes directly by the Denver County Jail. [Read more…] about Havana Exit Opens Back Up After Adding New Speed Bumps