Heat is on for Stapleton Pedestrians

Denver Police announce Spring ‘DUI’ crackdown on Stapleton bike paths, sidewalks and trails. In an effort to combat the extra daylight and warmer weather, Denver Police are springing forward to crackdown on area residents who are intoxicated on their bicycles in and around Stapleton. “It’s not just bicycles and skateboards, we have arrested 16 people already in a crackdown of parents with strollers transporting obscene amounts of liquor, along with their young children” stated Denver Police spokesperson Sonny Jackson. “The most obscene case was a woman who owned a four passenger side-by-side stroller, transporting three bottles of Pinot Grigio, a twelve-pack of O’Dell’s, a pint of whiskey, along with milk, sliced apples and a five gallon bucket of goldfish crackers.”  Police records indicate the woman had a blood alcohol level of .13, which is above the Colorado legal limit.  Jackson said he expects the problem to get worse before it gets better with the warmer weather.  Local residents are not happy with the crackdown, however.  “This is just another example of the police coming out here to Stapleton to give the residents a hard time,” said resident Joel Johnson.  “I really don’t want to see this unnecessary police badgering bring this community to the point of the Watts riots in ’65 or in ’92 after the King verdict.”  Police have a differing opinion.  “We just can’t allow one community to walk around with open containers and not another,” continued Jackson.  “We need to treat them like every other community in Denver.”  Resident Johnson partially agrees.  “We are a lot like every other community in Denver, but much, much better.”  The Stapletonion believes all of this tension could use a shot.

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