Every parent in Stapleton was quick to jump on the home school schedule bandwagon, and do their best to create a COVID-19 safe, quarantined, in-home school environment worthy of frequent Facebook and Instagram posts. Alicia and Scott Gerbracht even rearranged their living room to accompany a music studio with keyboards, and an electric drum kit, a punching bag and small weights for fitness, a media device station for online tutorials and an arts and crafts corner. “This ensures a well-rounded liberal arts education” stated Scott. Molly agreed, “it’s an absolute joy having this quality time with our three kids, Skyler 4, Hayden 6 and Keira 9, they have really taken to our format for instruction and family activity.”
The first day started strong with a laser like focus on division of labor, both mom and dad tag teaming the routine and ensuring the schedule was followed to the minute. There was ample time for fun activities and learning alike. We checked back three days later and the wheels were coming off at an accelerated rate. We came into a less than organized house with gusher wrappers, empty Pringles cans and Starburst wrappers everywhere. The youngest Skyler had the tv over 100 decibels and was watching Bad Blood and the oldest Keira was doing a Tic Tock to a 2Pac song in her underwear.
Alicia said, “I give up, I can’t get anyone to sit still for one minute and no one wants to do any of the activities I put together, and my husband hasn’t owned his end of the deal. He’s more worried about the Bronco’s free agency, and busy texting his buddies’ ridiculous videos from twitter, and I have no clue what’s so funny about the large black cock meme!” Scott sounded more optimistic. “Hey, we’ve had a few setbacks. Things feel a bit less structured, but the kids should be able to play, they’re not gonna get dumber in the next two months. Hell, this should be the time of their lives.”
News today from the White House lifted the mood for Alicia. “Jesus Christ, I hope Trump opens the economy back up. I need a drink with my girlfriends at Next Door immediately. It’s the only way we’ll make it through the Coronavirus.”