Do you worry about your baby looking stylish at the pool?  Are you not up with the latest and greatest baby swimwear?  The Stapletonion is here to help!  Before pool season opens, the Stapletonion will be presenting its second annual baby swimsuit edition. Again, many have requested the “Hot Moms” swimsuit edition as well as the “Hot Nannies” swimsuit edition, but we are sticking with the Baby Swimsuit Edition for this year, however we will not turn away photos sent in of hot moms or nannies. Please submit photos of your baby (between 6-30 months), their first name, and who they are wearing.  Submit to stapletonion@gmail.com with the subject line “baby.”  The edition will be in one of the June issues of the Stapletonion, so please get your photos in so our editors can do any necessary touch ups on unsightly baby fat. If we use the submission of your baby, you will receive a free Stapletonion tee shirt! ]]>

Once again, the Stapleton community was the top story on the six o’ clock news. And again, matters could not be more serious. “Things are starting to come to a head on this issue,” says resident Sarah Selley. “There are really no gray areas. You are either for sidewalk chalk, or against it. There is just no middle ground.” [Read more…] about “Chalk” of the Town: Sidewalk Graffiti Debate Dominates Airwaves

A young couple in Stapleton who chose to not be identified, has become significantly more popular since purchasing a prosthetic baby bump one month ago. “We never had anything to talk about with our neighbors, but now that people think we are pregnant, we suddenly have people asking us all sorts of questions,” says anonymous wife. “We love our neighbors, but they never had much to say to us in regards to what is going on in our world. They would talk about their own kids but we never had much to add to the conversation, so we were often shut out of it.” The couple has found themselves being invited to more backyard gatherings. “We really feel like we are part of the block now,” says anonymous husband. “People are already asking us about names, child care, schools, etc. More than anything, we are learning a lot if we decide if and when we want to have kids.” [Read more…] about Prosthetic Baby Bump Gives Couple Popularity Boost

Dealing with new economic challenges, block party planners across Stapleton have been scrambling to locate a cost-effective, austere alternative to the traditional, opulent bouncy castles — long a mainstay at such events. Duane Eilers, owner of the Town Center Zeppelin Haus, confirmed the declining interest for the time-honored inflatables, while seeing a spike in demand for more modest structures ranging from bouncy villas to bungalows. [Read more…] about Block Party Planners to Downgrade from Bouncy Castles to Bouncy Bungalows

The FDA is now targeting Stapleton residents for improper milk box use. Elise woke up early Tuesday morning before sending her two children off to Westerly Creek Wolfpack Nation to a knock on her front door. What she thought was a neighbor asking to save her a chair at the overly crowded gymnasium for the production of “Oklahoma – The Later Years” was instead confronted by an obscure enforcement arm of the FDA. Agents from the little known Milk Information and Lactose Containment agency (aka M.I.L.C.) questioned the wife and mother of two with a summons to inspect her milk receptacle box on her front porch. What they accused her of, shocked the recently relocated Stapleton resident. [Read more…] about Residents Targeted in FDA Probe of Milk Box Use

After years of debate and discussion, the committee appointed to exploring the possibilities and options of what to do with the Stapleton control tower have made their decision. The tower will be renovated and once again used as a control tower. “We just went with the principal of Occam’s razor,” said committee chairman Darcey Chase. “The most obvious answer had been sitting right in front of us all along. It’s a control tower. Let’s use it as one.” [Read more…] about Control Tower to be Renovated and Used as Control Tower

In 2011, Forrest City in conjunction with the MCA, introduced a robust menu offering burgers, brats, hot dogs, nachos, chips, slushes, and of course several kinds of drinks, chips, and candies. Pool patrons loved the options, as it helped keep their kids out of the water for another 20 to 30 minutes so they could quickly slam two more beers (cans). As with all good restaurants, offering a variety of great foods comes with a price: a long wait. [Read more…] about Abridged Pool Menu Achieves Goal of Shorter, Faster Lines

Stapleton parents have long been frustrated when it comes to taking their children to age-appropriate playground equipment in Stapleton. Many times they see kids much too old running amuck adding extra dangers for their young children, and children too young for equipment cause angst for on looking parents as well. The Stapleton MCA and SUN have stepped up similarly to what they had done for the Central Park sledding situation. “We have instructed a member of our security team to be at each of the Stapleton pocket parks,” said SUN President Mike Victoria. “If a child looks too old or too young to be on the playground, they will be subject to identification. If they do not have identification, or if they are not within the age range, they will be issued a warning. The second violation will be a $50 ticket, and the third violation will be a two year ban from playing on Stapleton playground equipment.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Security to Ticket Children Using Playground Equipment Out of Age Range