In an effort similar to the one on Wall Street, a handful of Denver protestors made an effort to “occupy Stapleton.” Similar to the Wall Street protests, it is not completely clear what they were looking for. Of the less than a dozen or so protestors turned campers that showed up daily, signs changed every day which included the following slogans:
- Evenly distributed pools in Denver
- Just because you live in Stapleton, doesn’t mean you deserve higher taxes
- All Denver parks should have the worlds thickest grass
- Stapleton: the rich, the entitled, the foreclosed
- Free concerts and movies everywhere. Not just Stapleton
- Nuke the whales [Read more…] about “Occupy Stapleton” Movement Never Gains Momentum
2009 was a rough year for Stapleton alleys when the “kids that potentially could’ve gotten hurt” totaled 36 Stapleton children. 2010 showed a remarkable turnaround with this number decreasing almost 30%, down to 26. “We really worked hard with the cooperation of the community leaders, the local fire and police departments, as well as the parents,” says local resident Brian Lohman. “There is still work to do, as we would like to see that number at zero.” It is important to point out that the actual number of kids hurt or harmed is zero. Data includes children walking to school in alleys, riding bikes in alleys, or playing sports in alleys. “We know that there have been no injuries, but there are just too many risks,” continues Lohman. “I hear reports all the time of cars backing out of their garages two minutes after making sure their neighbor had all the kids out of the way. That is just cutting it a little too close.”
Many parents are more concerned with kids walking to and from school in the alleys. “Every once in a while we will see or hear reports of ‘Aurora-like’ vehicles driving through our alleys,” says resident Dave Mason. “I know they are typically looking to rob us or take old chairs we left behind our garages for garbage, but what if they decide to take our kids?” Skeptics like Scott Andreasen find this highly unlikely. “The one thing these Aurora people have plenty of is kids. They are not looking for more.”
Lohman eventually would like to see a ban on playing and walking in Alleys for children. “There is just no other way to completely keep our children safe when they are playing in an alley. I will fight this fight until the number of “kids that potentially could’ve gotten hurt” is at zero.” We know you will Brian, we know you will. ]]> 
The Gray Bar Saloon opened two weeks ago, and is already becoming a hot spot for Eastbridge residents and many who just got bonded out of jail. “It really gives that urban mix that we have been looking for in Stapleton,” says frequent patron Kevin Stone. “I love being able to ask people what they were in for. Sometimes, I accidentally ask a Stapleton resident, but it is not a big deal.”
Residents in EaWe (formerly Eastbridge) have become fed up with the late night prayers taking place near 24th and Wabash. Although the majority of these residents are religious, they do not like it when religion affects their sleep time. “Hey, I love Jesus. I really do,” says resident Jamal Fox. “I just don’t want Him interrupting my sleep.”
After a lifetime of training, discipline, hard work, FBI agent Mike Chavez finds himself depressed, a little lonely, and bored.
“When I left Quantico, I couldn’t wait to get out there and start solving murders, hunting for serial killers, busting up organized crime rings, maybe infiltrating a terrorist cell or two and making America safe again. I got my assignment to Denver and, although I was really hoping for New York or D.C., I figured I was bound to see some action one way or another. Then I arrived at our office in the Stapleton neighborhood. OK, I figured, the building looks like it could withstand some heavy attacks so they must be wary of something out here. Wrong, dead wrong. Turns out they are required to build FBI offices with a certain degree of fortitude no matter where they are located. Do you know how many national security risks are called in to the Stapleton branch every month? Zero.”
The 8th Annual Stapleton Kickball Tournament sponsored by The Stapletonion was another rousing success. Balls were kicked, people were tagged, refs were yelled at, and alas, Champions were crowned (congratulations to Team Spencer). Everything seemed to go fairly smoothly. In fact, even injuries were down. Well, at least the physical ones.
With the November election right around the corner, Stapleton Republicans have been meeting regularly to discuss how they will respond to those yelling at them and stealing their yard signs. All 36 registered Republicans in the Stapleton community have been gathering every Thursday night at the Central Park community room. Some have chosen to go in costume in case an undercover Democrat plans to take names. “You never know what those scheming Democrats will be up to,” says Stapleton Republican leader Keith Carman. “You can never trust a damn lib.”