Stapleton is full of highly successful men, many of whom are the lone income provider for their families. Oftentimes, being successful means being busy. “I travel a lot,” says successful Stapleton dad Greg Saar. “And when I am not traveling, I am working late. By the time I get home, it’s dinnertime, then we have to get the kids in bed. So, I don’t get as much time with the kids as I would like.” Such is the case with many Stapleton men, and “Rent-a-Dad” saw the need for their services in Stapleton. “We don’t necessarily think that kids need a father figure,” said business co-owner Justin Trebon. “We don’t promote that a father figure or influence is something that everyone needs. We are simply offering it to those who do think it is necessary or want it.”
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Northfield High to Have Small First Class of Five Students
The much anticipated opening of Stapleton’s High School, Northfield High, is finally here. There have been some bumps in the road, and there will continue be a learning curve, but school administrators are excited for the upcoming year. “We are extremely excited for the year,” said Principal Avi Tropper. “We have a great group of kids, and we know their first year will be the beginning of great things here at Northfield High.” Tropper says that the Northfield High class of 2019 is currently at five students. “It is slightly smaller than we expected,” said Tropper. “But we know a lot of people are on wait and see mode. After this year, we not only expect that class to grow, but of course, the subsequent classes as well.”
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MCA Okays ‘Open Carry’ to Create Safer Stapleton
After careful consideration, the MCA has determined Stapleton will be a safer neighborhood if residents are allowed to openly carry firearms. “After looking into gun issues we have had in this country, it becomes more and more clear that the more guns we have, the less likely we will have gun violene,” said MCA spokesperson Liza Kampstra. “This was a challenging issue, and we know people are going to disagree with the decision. But, the truth is, the numbers prove it. If we have more guns, we will have less gun violence. That’s just science.” The discussion came up within the MCA and SUN after Rick Perry discussed a safer America. “We needed guidance, and the place most people look, of course, is Rick Perry,” said Kampstra. “He just makes a lot of sense.”
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Stapleton Drivers Enjoy Final Month Without Speeding Tickets in School Zones
Each school year the Denver Police Department hands out thousands of speeding tickets to people driving too fast in school zones. “Our priority is to keep the children safe, obviously,” said DPD spokesperson Brad Cavin. “So, during the school year, we of course have a push to give out speeding tickets to those not obeying the posted traffic limits. Slower traffic means safer kids.” Of course, Stapleton has a large number of schools, so speeding tickets in school zones there are more abundant. “We definitely hand out more school zone tickets in Stapleton than any other area of Denver,” said Cavin. “But, obviously, that is just a numbers thing. We aren’t against residents there or anything.”
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Experts Called in to Study Outsiders
Just over a month ago, the Front Porch included an article which shocked many Stapletonians. The article pointed out that there are societies outside of Stapleton. Essentially, we are not alone. There is life outside of Stapleton. Not only has this surprised Stapleton residents, it has been scary for most. “I have seen people driving in our neighborhood that did not look like our people, but I wasn’t quite sure,” said resident Kristi Richardson. “Now I know. We have aliens among us.” Not only do these “aliens” sometimes come into or through Stapleton, there apparently are whole other worlds outside of the 80238 Zip Code. The MCA and SUN have tried to start some educational programs regarding these other societies, but have not had a lot of success working with the residents.
“I think there is just a lot of confusion regarding who they are, and what they are doing here,” said MCA President Liza Kampstra. “People don’t consider us the experts, so we had to find an organization they would trust. So, we got in touch with some folks from NASA, and they understand our situation, and have agreed to come work with and educate our community on these outsiders.” The person in charge of NASA’s education program, Keith Hodan, says things have gone a little slow so far. “The people here have been receptive, but Stapletonian culture can be a bit brash, and often full of know-it-alls,” said Hodan. “So, during the programs, there is often interruption or loud negative comments prior to us finishing a sentence which may explain something better to them. We are making slow progress, however.”
Hodan says the main focus of the program is to explain to Stapletonians that these other peoples, for the most part, aren’t here to hurt them. “We want the residents here to know that there is a lot they can learn from these other civilizations, and they should talk to these other people, and even explore their worlds,” said Hodan. Resident Jim Nielson remains skeptical. “I’m not saying other societies don’t exist,” says Nielson. “I’m just saying I’m not ready to go exploring outside of Stapleton. We have everything we need right here, so I don’t think running around an alien culture is a great idea at this time.” President Kampstra says residents are encouraged to explore outside of Stapleton, but should use caution. “As long as you always know how to get back to Stapleton, you should be okay.”
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Local Fireworks Displays Annoy Local A-Holes
The Fourth of July is a great time to eat and drink with friends and neighbors while celebrating the greatest nation’s independence. And, yeah, also a time to blow shit up. Denver has many great fireworks displays, and you can see most of those from right here in Stapleton. But for some, that just isn’t the same as lighting the fuse yourself. “I’ve always loved lighting off medium range fireworks,” says resident Scott Hall. “Every year we head to Wyoming, get some good fireworks, and bring them back here for the Fourth. The neighbors all seem to enjoy them, and it’s a lot of fun. Of course, safety is first, so we are always really careful.”
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Havana St: Not Just a Through Street Anymore
Havana Street in the Eastbridge borough of Stapleton has had a long, interesting history. It’s home to the wide random bike lanes which took two months to paint, the sign reminding outsiders they can’t take it to Aurora, and of course, people incessantly coming back down it the wrong way after not reading the sign. Farther down the road, there has been several construction projects including detours, as well as beautiful views of the Denver jail. But now, residents have a new complaint. They were actually here BEFORE Havana was a through street.
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Zillow Estimates Have Stapletonians Believing They’ll Have Money in Twenty Years
Home prices all over Denver have been rising, and Stapleton has continued to become the community in which people want to live. Many things have contributed to this, including the strong public schools, unique homes, the soon to be light rail, and all of the trendy shops and restaurants that are currently here and ones coming soon. For most residents, the increased home value doesn’t mean a lot, as they don’t plan to move anyway. “I guess it is fun to talk about,” says Stapleton resident Kevin Cisler. “But, we aren’t planning to move, so all it really does is raise our property taxes and I suppose in some circles, people will hold us in higher esteem.”
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