There are a lot of good looking people in Stapleton, albeit, mostly the women, which has caused some problems for Stapleton residents past and present. We can all agree that crushes can pretty much be harmless, as long as the crush is managed appropriately. The Stapletonion has set some simple guidelines so that you can avoid trouble when it comes to having a crush on another Stapletonian.
- In no circumstance are you allowed to have a crush on someone that lives on your block. There are simply too many potential run-ins, whether you are friends with them or not. You should let them know this immediately. For example, “I find you very attractive, but in no way will I ever flirt with you or fantasize about lip kissing you in any way. You should do the same.”
- You cannot be couples friends with a Stapleton crush. Again, a key to having a harmless and fun crush is not seeing your Stapleton Crush very often. For example, I have a small crush on Rachel McAdams, but the odds of us ever making out are probably 3-1, so not that likely to happen, right?
- Do your best to avoid having any of their contact information. After a few drinks, you may feel like sending them a “funny” text or FB message. This is the gateway to trouble and opens the door to regular, flirty communication.
- You are allowed to be Facebook friends with your Stapleton Crush, and obviously do some photo stalking, as long as it does not exceed once per quarter. Furthermore, in regards to Facebook, you are allowed to “like” their photos, but are not allowed to comment, or send specific messages to them.
- In no circumstances are you allowed to arrange a meeting with a Stapleton Crush. However, if you happen to run into them at the Berkshire and have friends in common, you are allowed to talk to them and flirt. This can only occur once every six months, and you are not allowed to exchange personal contact information. Furthermore, you are not allowed to make comments such as, “yeah, my husband/wife would never do that.”