Issue 29

Do you worry about your baby looking stylish at the pool?  Are you not up with the latest and greatest baby swimwear?  The Stapletonion is here to help!  Before pool season opens, the Stapletonion will be presenting its second annual baby swimsuit edition. Again, many have requested the “Hot Moms” swimsuit edition as well as the “Hot Nannies” swimsuit edition, but we are sticking with the Baby Swimsuit Edition for this year, however we will not turn away photos sent in of hot moms or nannies. Please submit photos of your baby (between 6-30 months), their first name, and who they are wearing.  Submit to stapletonion@gmail.com with the subject line “baby.”  The edition will be in one of the June issues of the Stapletonion, so please get your photos in so our editors can do any necessary touch ups on unsightly baby fat. If we use the submission of your baby, you will receive a free Stapletonion tee shirt! ]]>

Forrest City President Phil Dargossi is currently in talks with the city of Aurora and the City of Denver in an effort to create a buffer zone between the Stapleton community in Denver and Aurora. “First and foremost, the concerns of the community are our biggest priority,” says Dargossi. “What we want to build is an area, similar to a demilitarized zone, which will separate the two areas and create a safe environment for our citizens.” The proposal is to build a one to two mile gated area with a large security barbed wire fence which will only allow Aurorans through in their vehicles and only during certain times. Currently, Aurora councilman Matt Shelton is not sold on the proposal. “I am not sure this is something I can get behind,” says Shelton. “As an Auroran, I would prefer that Aurorans could get out of here any time they wanted. I don’t feel comfortable having all these Aurorans here in the first place.” Denver councilman Adam Jones disagrees. “In the end, we must look out for the citizens of Denver,” says Jones. “This proposal looks to address the safety and well-being of our communities. We don’t want Aurorans here. It’s bad enough we are housing them in our jail down the street.” The plan will be voted on by both communities in mid-July. “We do not have the final provisions set at this point,” said Dargossi. “We expect for both cities to pass the provision, and we look forward to putting up signs stating, ‘Future Home of Buffer Zone’ in the Stapleton community.” ]]>

King Soopers: When Maxi-Pads and Beer ARE the Emergency King Soopers has long had the simple and to the point slogan, “Right Store. Right Price.” It has been around for over a decade and has remained a strong statement about who the corporation is. Recently, the Stapleton King Soopers has made several changes, and although they still associate with the corporate slogan, they are looking to make a statement specific to their store. [Read more…] about Stapleton King Soopers Looks for New Slogan

The Stapleton Rec Center has noticed a similar pattern among moms over the last two months. They come in with their kids dressed in their workout clothes. Then, they drop their kids off at the free child care facility. It is at this point where the rec center staff has started noticing a deviation from the norm. “They drop their kids off, and then walk right into the community room,” says rec center employee Theresa Frankel. “They lay on the couch, chairs, and even the floor when the others are taken. Some ladies are bringing in pillows or using their yoga mats. It is getting out of hand.” [Read more…] about Rec Center Plans Crack Down on Moms Taking Advantage of Daycare

Tattoo artist and entrepreneur Max Marco is opening a new shop in the Stapleton Town Center, Toddler Tatts, where parents can bring their children for permanent body art. The editor of Tattoo News says tattooing children is a growth industry. “It’s an untouched demographic.  Our client pool has been growing richer and trendier for years. Now they’re getting younger. People want to set their kids apart from the crowd, and so business has exploded in communities that are family-oriented and socially-competitive like La Jolla, Martha’s Vineyard, and Waco. Stapleton’s a prime market for this. And you’re lucky to get Marco. He’s quite an artist.”   [Read more…] about Toddler Tattoos Available Soon in Town Center

A 2008 Honda Accord has started a movement to take back its garage and is encouraging all others similarly situated to join. According to the Honda, it has been relegated to being parked on the curb in front of the Hubka home ever since May of 2010, when Brian Hubka, likely going through a mid-life crisis, remodeled his garage into a “man room.” After the remodel, Brian frequently had gatherings in his garage where his buddies came over and watched football games and sometimes smoked cigars. In recent years, the Hubka garage has become the local gathering place for the entire 2800 Block of Geneva Court, most notable being their 2010 Cinco de Mayo party where Brian’s wife, Jodi, rented a real Jose Cuervo margarita machine. [Read more…] about Resident’s Honda Begins “Take Back the Garage” Movement

Mark Lane enjoys being a dad and does his best with his daughter Maggie. He is rarely without help, however, as his wife Laurie is usually by their side. Recently Laurie decided to go on a rare girls’ trip, leaving Mark alone. Mark was happy Laurie was going to get away and knew he could handle being with Maggie alone. The first night was easy for Mark, as he just followed the usual routine. Dinner, pajamas, reading, bed. No big deal. Saturday morning was more of the same. Wake up, watch cartoons, eat breakfast. That’s when Mark began his struggles. He had planned on taking Maggie to the park, so he went upstairs to grab some clothes. “What should she wear? What size is she wearing now? Is this an outfit or two items randomly next to each other?” [Read more…] about Messy Haired, Mismatched Toddler Dead Giveaway Father Home Alone

All over Stapleton, women are getting together once a month or so to drink some wine, spread some gossip and play some hard core Bunco. The Stapletonion decided it wanted to learn more about what goes on at these gatherings, so we sent our lowest paid employee (our female reporter) to check it out. What we realized is that there is the suspected amount of gossip involving the neighbor couple that doesn’t seem to be getting along, the kids down the street that seem a bit behind, who the best looking dad in the community is, and who is running around on who. What we did not know is that the Bunco group has plans to solve almost every Stapleton issue. [Read more…] about Drunk Bunco Group Confident They Can Solve Stapleton’s Problems