Issue 116

The pressure in Stapleton to “keep up with the Joneses” is enormous. People in Stapleton are generally smarter, more successful, funnier, and better looking. This in and of itself can make even the most confident person self-conscience. The stress of living up to “Stapleton Standards™” is not totally self-inflicted. Stapleton residents keep a keen eye on each other to make sure each and every one of them is living up to “Stapleton Standards™.” “I not only feel it is my right to judge others in the community, but I feel it is my duty,” said Stapleton resident Lisa Carman. “We Stapletonians need to enforce unwritten rules in almost every way of life. What you can wear, how you should act, how you should drive, how you should parent, etc. This is how we keep a balance in creating the best community in the world.” Resident Troy Hayne feels the same way. “Would people keep their homes and yards as nice if we all weren’t constantly judging each other? “Probably not,” assumes Hayne. For many residents, the most important pressure is to make sure people remain physically attractive. “We have all been to small towns and suburbs,” said Eric Lance. “People get married, have kids, and then they just let themselves go. That is not what we are about here in Stapleton. In fact, it’s almost as if we are going the opposite direction. After you have kids, you make sure you put in your time running, at the gym, or doing CrossFit. Especially the ladies. You have to stay hot in the Stapleton market. You want to be the girl all the dads are talking about at the Berkshire.” One Stapleton resident, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in fear she would be judged, would prefer residents not be so pretentious and judgmental. “I wish people would just let others in our community be who they are. It is so tiring living here and worrying about what people think of your involvement with the school, what kind of car you drive, how you decorate for the holidays, and so on. Just give it a rest.” Tracy White only partially agrees with this assessment. “The judging is the gravity that keeps our little Stapleton solar system working,” said White. “If we stop judging each other, things are going to get crazy quick, same as they would if we removed gravity from the solar system. If people want to live in one of those crazy judge-free zones, that is fine, but I prefer to keep our Stapleton as-is. Perfect.” Carman has the best advice for those new to the Stapleton community. “Whenever you leave your house, think to yourself, ‘how will others think I look and act and what do they think about my family life and my material possessions?’ This is the first step in keeping up with ‘Stapleton Standards™.’”]]>

Stapleton elementary schools will begin a program beginning in November that will “reward” parents for getting their kids to school on time. Essentially, parents who get their kids to school on time will receive a ribbon from an administrator as they are leaving the school’s campus. “We wanted to create some urgency on the parents’ side,” said Swigert Administrator Jodi Haugen. “Just an extra thing to encourage them to get their kids to class on time, and then to reward them. We are really looking forward to seeing the results of the program.” Haugen says the Stapleton schools are not necessarily having an issue with tardiness, but she believes parents should be rewarded for being responsible and getting their kids to school on time. “It really is a big accomplishment,” said Haugen. “People have so much going on these days, so making that extra effort to get the kids out the door is really special. Of course, maybe it will reduce tardiness as well” [Read more…] about Schools to Begin Handing Out Awards to Parents for Getting Kids to School on Time

With the 26th Ave. Park finally on the right track and Stanley Marketplace coming along nicely, Forest City turned its head to its next biggest challenge: Aurora. “We have been dealing with issues regarding Aurora for quite some time,” said Forest City President Phil Dargossi. “Most of those issues related specifically to through traffic and crime. But now, we just want to do our best so not only is Stapleton pristine, but so the borders are pristine as well.” [Read more…] about 100 Acres of Western Aurora to Be Turned into Jack Nicklaus Championship Golf Course

Halloween is the unofficial end of fall for most Stapleton residents. The clocks change, it gets darker earlier, cold weather comes in, kids fall sports seasons are over, and skiing season begins. All of these factors typically signify the end of alley parties and random late night drinking with neighbors. This is certainly true for the Frazier and Dalton families. “They are such a big part of our lives for eight months of the year,” said Kelly Dalton. “Our kids are friends, and we have so many fun late nights with them. But, skiing season begins, and holidays, and the just being depressed from the dark and cold weather makes it so you don’t even want to leave your house. So, we probably won’t see our neighbors much in the next four months.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Neighbors Share Tearful Goodbye for Winter Season

For many Stapleton parents, daylight savings time creates all sorts of havoc. Nap times, bed times, eating times can all get out of whack. “It takes at least two weeks to get my kids back on the right schedule,” said Stapleton mother of three Julie Farrell. “I hate the spring forward, and I hate the fall back. I remember when I used to enjoy the ‘extra hour’ before I had kids. I even enjoyed the spring forward knowing we were going to get a longer day. But daylight savings is only a pain in the ass once you have kids.” Angie Mason is in complete agreement. “You can’t explain to your kids that they need to be awake or in bed based on the time,” said Mason. “If they’re not tired, or not hungry, that’s their rationale. It really sucks.” [Read more…] about Stapleton “Fall Back Preppers” Have Successful Daylight Savings Transition

With a record number of rainbow sightings since this spring, Stapleton residents are starting to complain about the frequency of rainbows. As a neighborhood situated with sweeping views, rainbows are hard to miss or avoid even if you try. [Read more…] about Rainbows Latest Stapleton Nuisance