Issue156

Stapleton’s Punch Bowl Social opened last weekend and residents all over Stapleton made sure you knew they had tickets to the opening. Social media was filled with photos and comments from those who were able to get the hardest ticket in town. “I have a friend who is friends with someone who knows the owner,” said local big shot Sam Jepsen. “When I found out I got to go the opening, I just couldn’t believe it. It’s a once in a lifetime event. I know a lot of people don’t know people like I do, so I felt bad for them. But man, it was cool.” Kelly Runchey was also able to snag some tickets for the opening night. “It was such a special experience,” said Runchey. “People were there from all over Stapleton. People I have seen at the Farmer’s Market, or Stanley, and other places. And there they were. Right there at Punch Bowl Social. I immediately asked to take some pictures with some of them so I could post them on Facebook.” Resident Molly Crawford was in awe of the entire experience. “When I found out I had tickets, I almost started crying,” said Crawford. “I mean, what an incredible, amazing, life experience. I saw some of my neighbors there along with some parents from my kids’ school. If you were somebody, you were at the Punch Bowl Social.” Party-goers took time to take lots of pictures and immediately post them on Facebook so others would know how important they were. “I wanted to make sure people knew I got to go to the opening of a kind of chain restaurant,” said resident Jessica Davis. “People need to know that I’m part of the Stapleton scene, which means everything. You’re either part of it, or fighting to get in to it.” “I didn’t even get to see that much of the restaurant,” said Ryan Ambrose. “I was stuck staring at all the Stapleton royalty there. I mean everybody, if you were somebody, was there. It was pretty great. Of the most life changing experiences I have had, it would be my kids being born, than this.” It’s hard to say if Punch Bowl Social will continue to deliver this kind of mania from week to week. But, for this one weekend, customers were awed, if not only by themselves. *This writer, nor any writers from The Stapletonion staff, were invited to the opening of Stapleton Punch Bowl Social.

In Stapleton, we are used to bikes being taken. But lately, it seems bikes are being left. Like, everywhere. “I was driving by that climbing park on 26th, and there was this bike parked right on the sidewalk,” said Eastbridge resident Greg Zinn. “What the hell was it doing there? No one was around, and it was parked on the sidewalk.” Kevin Hansen has noticed the same thing. “I saw two bikes randomly parked at the pocket park near our place,” said Hansen. “Very strange. I can’t believe no one has stolen those things. They weren’t locked, hidden, or anything.” The bikes are being seen all over Stapleton. “I am seeing these things everywhere,” said Nicole Morgan. “Where are they coming from and what are they for? How soon before I just have a green bike parked in front of my house?” Turns out, the bikes are right where they are supposed to, which is wherever the previous rider wants to leave them. The LimeBikes are dockless bikes which can be left anywhere, and people can use an app to rent them by the hour. “It’s pretty cool what they’re trying to do,” said resident Karl Greve. “But I’m not sure I want to see these things just sitting around everywhere. I hear they want to add a lot more of these.” Some residents are worried about how people will be using them. “Any chance thieves will be using them for an easy exit out of Staplehood?” asked a concerned Kristi Morgan. “It seems that it may be one way for criminals to get in and out of here easily with our stuff. It even has a basket.” It’s too early to tell if the bikes will be effective or if they will be used for questionable activity, but get used to them being around. They will be everywhere.

Stapleton Parents are already working to find summer camps and nannies as summer rapidly approaches. “I was looking at the DPS calendar, and kids are off over 15% of weekdays between now and the end of the school year,” said Stapleton mom Brooke Corkery. “Plus, kids will have sick days, snow days, and then there’s basically the whole month of May where everyone has given up. So, we need to start getting ready for summer now. It’s right around the corner.” DPS Schools do not officially end until May 31st, six months away, but to most, it feels a lot closer than that. “There’s winter break coming up, and that takes almost all of December,” said parent Tanya Bowsen. “Then, we miss a couple Fridays during ski season, so that’s gone. All of the sudden, it will be spring break, and we are basically done.” Parents are already making sure to get kids signed up for camps. “You have to sign up early or the kids will get left out,” said Diane Mayer. “It’s frustrating, but we are already running into camps which are filled up.” Whether you like it or not, summer is here. Basically.