Issue 81

Last Monday, SUN organized another meeting to discuss community concerns over the King Soopers store headed to the Eastbridge town Center. Concerns ranged from location of the gas station to ‘does it really have to be King Soopers?’ But the topic most discussed was the issue of the parking lot. “It seems to me that this parking lot is going to be massive,” said concerned resident Tom Hodges. “Does it really need to be that big?” Sooper’s spokesperson Mike Hoffman says that based on the square footage of the store, and the expected traffic analyzed by Kroger’s actuarial scientists, the parking lot is appropriate for the area. “Kroger has over 2,600 stores, and we do roughly $100 billion a year in revenue. We are absolutely open to suggestions, but we kind of have the hang of things.” Random Stapleton citizens disagree with the grocery behemoth, however. “I really like the concept of new urbanism and that design type is kind of fading out parking lots,” said attendee Sean Lewis. “They are an eye sore, and these days, everyone is walking or riding bikes to get groceries.” Other residents agree. “If I want to drive somewhere, I’ll drive to Whole Foods said Kerry Taylor. “There is absolutely no reason to have a parking lot there. If I don’t need it, no one does.” After hours of Stapleton residents standing up and repeating the same thing the resident said before them, Hoffman begrudgingly agreed that the new Soopers will not have a parking lot. “This is new territory for us,” said Hoffman. “And quite frankly, new territory for any grocery store. I have been working in the grocery business for 25 years, and have never heard of it. So, I guess we will be the guinea pig here and test it out.” Hoffman also agreed that the new store will not have plastic bags available, and people can bring their own reusable bags, or purchase the ones available at King Soopers. Finally, King Soopers has agreed to forfeit its naming rights to the Stapleton community. “Stapleton will decide on the name of the store,” said Hoffman. “It will simply say, ‘powered by King Soopers’ much smaller below whatever title the community comes up with.” The Stapletonion has agreed to work in partnership with Soopers and SUN to help find the best name for the new store. Please email ideas to The Stapletonion at Stapletonion@gmail.com. ]]>

Conservatory Green Block Captain Anne Walker has been an ideal block captain. She has kept her neighbors informed on community meetings and updates, helped initiate acquiring neighborhood watch signs, as well as organized a team for the annual Stapleton Kickball Tournament. “She has been basically everything you can ask for in a block captain,” said neighbor Julia Dillingham. “She simply made a mistake that you really can’t recover from. Is there a chance she could lead us again? Certainly, but not in the near future.” [Read more…] about Block Captain Relieved of Duties After Suggesting Dry Block Party

Stapleton, with all of its tremendous parents and kids, is bound to have a few bad apples. You have probably seen them running amuck at the grocery store, or possibly even squirting you with a squirt gun at the pool without your consent. These kids play at the many Stapleton pocket parks, and are typically the ones running over the little kids at parks for which they are too old. The Stapleton MCA security has finally figured out a way to deal with these unruly children. [Read more…] about 26th Ave Park to Have Play Area for “Bad Kids”

It used to be that sponsorship levels were pretty universal. You had Gold, Silver, and Bronze. More perks at the high end, but everyone felt like winners. Then, organizations added a Platinum level at the top, and others introduced ‘presenting sponsors.’ Anyway you cut it, the top sponsors felt great, and the lower end sponsors still felt good. [Read more…] about Local Schools Change Sponsorship Levels to Degrade Those Giving Less

Stapleton resident Mandy Hanson looks forward to the Stapleton garage sale every year. “You can get so many things at great prices,” says Hanson. “People are simply looking for an easy way to get rid of the stuff they no longer need in their homes. So, if they can get a little money for the items they are happy. There are some really great deals.” Hanson uses the garage sale to purchase large items such as couches, chairs, desks, etc., but the sales have been most helpful for Hanson when acquiring clothes and toys for her kids. [Read more…] about Stapleton Garage Sale: Shrewd Stapleton Mom Successfully Negotiates Price of $3 Salsa Dish Down to $2

This past Saturday, an unidentified homeless man wandered into the Williams Family Dentistry. The alarms went off, but the man was undeterred. He needed a cup of coffee. He grabbed one of the Keurig cups, started the coffee maker and patiently waited for his coffee. After he got his cup, he calmly left the scene and continued his walk. [Read more…] about Homeless Man: “Coffee at Williams Family Dentistry Worth the Walk”

Stapleton homeowner Greg Gill has no interest in yard work. He prefers to use his free time to play with his kids, go to baseball games, or play golf. So, when he realized a week ago that he would finally have to do something about the weeds in his yard, he turned to a higher power. “I’m not religious,” said Gill. “But, I was not excited about doing any yard work, especially when it comes to pulling and spraying weeds. So, in a weak moment, I prayed that the weeds would just go away.” Well, Gill’s prayers were answered when Stapleton experienced a massive barrage of hail storms last week. “It was truly a miracle,” says Gill. “That hail ripped through those dandelions. It was really a beautiful site. Any of them that are alive, are covered by the leaves that were torn from the trees which is an added bonus.” Gill does have some remorse for the terrible hail storms. “My neighbors had just planted some tomatoes, and didn’t have their flowers pulled in, so they kind of got a tough break on that. I guess you could consider it collateral damage, however. It’s not all gonna work out for everybody.” [Read more…] about Prayers Answered: Stapleton Resident’s Weeds Killed by Hail

You all either saw them or tried to sell them. Bizarre garage sale items. Items ranged from an old shoe (not the pair) to miscellaneous toys with missing parts and accessories. Stapleton people were giving other residents and outsiders the opportunity to grab their junk before simply discarding it. The best item I saw was a very old, denim, Buffalo Bills hat. I don’t think the item sold. The Stapletonion wants to know the best items you either sold, tried to sell, or saw for sale. We will post the list of these items in Issue 82 (June 11th) of The Stapletonion. Send items to Stapletonion@gmail.com with the subject line “garage sale.” ]]>