Issue 56

Forest City Intelligence officials have narrowed their search for long hunted prairie dog leader Osama Bin Prairie dog to a narrow stretch of land on the future site of the 26th Ave. Park. That area is between Fulton and Florence Streets. The Forest City Intelligence Agency is using heavy duty construction equipment digging through the area trying to find the vaunted prairie dog leader. “At this point, we have a lot of confidence that we have trapped him in that area, and we will find him,” said agency spokesperson Mitchell Cuthbert. “This has been a ten year search that essentially began when Forest City started developing Stapleton, and we have been absolutely dedicated to finding the leader of the prairie dogs that have terrorized the Stapleton land for so many years.” Forest City did not give specifics on how they received the intelligence, but mentioned they had planted several moles. Osama Bin Prairie Dog as he is known to intelligence officials is the ace of spades in the prairie dog deck of most wanted prairie dogs. “We have captured or killed numbers two through 16 but have been unable to find our number one,” said Cuthbert. “We believe that fortune is about to change.” Finding Osama Bin Prairie Dog would mean a lot to hundreds of Stapleton residents who have been annoyed by the prairie dog population over the years. “I have lived here for six years,” said resident Kyle Schall. “I go by the destruction they have caused on runs, bike rides, and walks, and it is heartbreaking. It will be a big day in Stapleton when the leader is finally taken out.” Other residents are more sympathetic to the prairie dog cause. “I am not saying that the alleged damage to the ecosystem hasn’t been caused,” said resident Kim Wilber. “What I am saying is that we are Stapleton, and we should be more humane. Prairie dogs have rights, and deserve to stand trial, just like any other Stapleton residents.” The Forest City Intelligence Agency expects that they will catch Osama Bin Prairie Dog within the next three weeks. “At this point, it is just a matter of time,” said Cuthbert. “We will continue to tighten the perimeter and eventually, he will be flushed out, and captured or killed.” ]]>

After a challenging opening weekend for the Stapleton pools, the MCA put together an emergency panel Tuesday to decide a better system for getting people in and out of the pools. With the recent boom in Stapleton home sales, and no new pools currently being built, Stapleton pools were fraught with long lines, challenges with administration, and at many times, a one in one out policy. “We are well aware of the many difficulties experienced by residents over the Holiday weekend,” said MCA President Liza Kampstra. “We dedicated a panel of MCA leaders and Stapleton residents to come up with the best possible solution to the crisis.” [Read more…] about MCA Chooses Lottery System Over Choice System for Local Pools

Economic experts are predicting a huge summer for Wine Cellars The Bottle Shop at Stapleton for this summer. Wine Cellars has begun delivering alcohol to local pools this summer as well as ice, and is the only liquor store that has taken up the venture. “We noticed that people like drinking at pools, but don’t necessarily like to worry about packing booze along with the tens of other things they need to bring,” said co-owner Rich Motarjeme. “We wanted to help customers fill that gap.” [Read more…] about Analysts Expect Wine Cellars to Earn $1 Billion in Pool Alcohol Sales

Recent developments for the possibility of a community arts center being located and designed around the Stapleton Control Tower have not been positive. “We have learned that some of the changes that would need to be made to the tower to accommodate the type of center we want, will not be possible,” said MCA President Liza Kampstra. “We put a lot of time into this plan, and believed Forest City understood what we were looking for. But, in the end, they do not want to sell the tower, nor do they want any structural improvements or changes.” [Read more…] about Forest City Looking for ‘As Is’ Lessees for Stapleton Control Tower

Stapleton Cold Stone Creamery Manager Mark Fitzpatrick could barely believe it after a sixth customer was served in just under 90 minutes. “We never thought the record was something even close to attainable,” said Fitzpatrick. “We wanted to work hard, satisfy customers, and if we got the record, great, but it was never talked about.” Even more special for Fitzpatrick and the rest of the crew at the Stapleton store is that it was done the year of the 25th anniversary of Cold Stone. [Read more…] about Stapleton Cold Stone Serves Record Six Customers in 90 Minutes

The Stapleton Concert on the Green series is a long-standing tradition for the Stapleton community. People come out for a relaxing night to hang out with friends, eat, drink, and dance. The kids really enjoy the show as well as they run up by the stage and dance around with their friends. The tradition is not going away soon. [Read more…] about Concert on the Green Bands Booked On Condition No One Has Heard of Them

The new 711 located on Montview Blvd. is dedicated to being a 711 for the Stapleton community. Historically, 711’s are known for their ridiculously sized sodas, instant lunches, and all sorts of junk food. The 711 located in the heart of Stapleton is trying to change that. “We will be offering all sorts of healthy options in our store to fit with the healthy lifestyles of Stapleton residents,” said co-owner Brad LaPedis. “We are even considering adding in an organic line if things go well with the rest of our healthy offerings.” [Read more…] about Montview 711 Health Food Sales Reach $100 in April