Issue 44

Forest City recently approved what appears to be its biggest effort to appease disgruntled Eastbridge residents in regards to the lack of an Eastbridge town center. Several years after the town center was to be completed, Forest City has finalized plans that will place a light rail station in the mostly barren Eastbridge “town center.” “We are extremely pleased to announce that plans and funding have been approved to begin construction of a Stapleton light rail,” said Forest City spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “The main objective will be to give easy access for all residents to our one and only town center on 29th Street.” The two hubs for the Stapleton Light Rail will be located in what was supposed to be the Eastbridge town center and the other will be located in the middle of Founder$ Green. It will be an elevated rail that will run directly above the running path on 29th Street for the majority of the trip. Not all residents are pleased with the incoming Stapleton Light Rail. “We are supposed to be a green community,” said concerned resident Mitchell McAllister. “Now, we are going to put this right above one of the prettiest streets in our community? Ridiculous.” Residents living along 29th street are already planning a petition to stop the building of the light rail. “I don’t like anything about this,” said 29th Street resident Jennifer Olds. “The noise, the clutter, but mostly I don’t want Eastbridge people messing up our nice neighborhoods to the West. I mean, why can’t it take them to the Aurora Town Center since they are basically in Aurora already?” Eastbridge residents seem excited about what seems to at least be an effort to give them easier access at walking to a coffee shop, liquor store, sandwich shop, and a bar. “Ideally, I would be able to simply walk to that area and get what I need,” said Eastbridge resident Mark Tisdale. But at least I can still walk there and get a five minute lift into the current town center.” Eastbridge residents will be able to ride for free with a pass they can get from the MCA with a proof of residence. Others will be able to get passes at a monthly rate or buy them daily. The light rail will run daily from 6AM until 12AM and is set to open in the fall of 2015. ]]>

After the release of the 2013 Stapleton MCA dog calendar, one resident has raised the question about discrimination of mixed breed dogs that reside in the neighborhood. This community member is Kari Stevens, the owner of two mixed breed canines. We have decided to publish Kari’s exact words. What follows is her personal account of the events that lead to this strong accusation. [Read more…] about Stapleton MCA Accused of Purebred Supremacy

In what has become a Kimball family tradition, the Kimballs dress up in their hunting garb, grab their BB guns, pellet guns, and bows and arrows and head to one of the many Stapleton prairie dog hot spots. “We have been pretty lucky in that we try a new area every year,” said Eric Kimball. “They just seem to be everywhere, so we can’t go wrong.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Family has Successful Thanksgiving Morning Prairie Dog Hunt

A Stapleton resident who asked to remain anonymous is furious with his neighbor who put his Christmas lights up immediately Friday morning, calling him among other things, “a big dick.” “Seriously, Friday morning?” questioned the resident. “As soon as I saw that stuff going up, I knew my weekend was fried. Can’t he wait at least a week and let people enjoy a weekend of football and relaxation. I am so pissed.” [Read more…] about Resident Thinks Neighbor is “a Big Dick” for Already Putting up Christmas Lights

For the fifth year in a row, the parents of the annual Stapleton Thanksgiving football game at Central Park were dominant, winning 63-0, and injuring at least five kids. “We played our hearts out today,” said parent Luke Bianco (37). “The adults came prepared today, and that preparation showed. I feel a little bad for the kids, but they will learn from this, and hopefully play a little harder next year.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Adults Kick Crap out of Kids in Thanksgiving Morning Football Game

Andy Ott needed to head out of the house last Friday to get a few simple things he had had on his list including batteries, paper towels, bananas, and catsup. His wife Tessa had warned him that Target would be “pretty crazy” but Andy insisted on going believing that his items would not be in the middle of the fray. Andy was wrong. “It started with finding a parking spot,” said Andy. “I had to park on one of the streets in the Northfield Mall area and walk to Target. “I thought I could run in there and run out, but it took me forever just to get to the paper towels. I wasn’t even near the electronics or the toys, but was struggling to even move in there. I thought about leaving, but I was determined to get the items on my list, mostly out of spite.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Dad Didn’t Realize Black Friday is Bad Day to “Grab a Few Things”

Stapleton residents have created several groups to make each resident feel like they are a part of something and to find friends with common interests. There are several exercise groups, running groups, biking groups, singles groups, dinner clubs, wine clubs, guys night out groups, and even a kite club. But things became a little dorkier and whiter in Stapleton in late October when Mike Logan created the Stapleton Unicylcer’s Club. [Read more…] about Stapleton Unicycling Group Just as Dorky as it Sounds