Staff Writer

Stapleton is getting older. And it’s not just the trees and the parents. Stapleton now has teenagers. Lots of them. There are of course the teenagers hanging out in the town center and now at Stanley. But, Stapleton now has teenage drivers. And this is scaring the hell out of parents. “My son is now old enough to drive on his own,” said Stapleton parent Rick Kimball. “It freaks the hell out of. One, because I worry about him, of course, and two because it makes me feel old as hell.” Lexa Martin also has a teenage driver in her house. “You just worry about them paying attention, focusing on the road, driving the speed limit. You know, all that stuff we didn’t do when we were kids.” There are now dozens of teenage drivers in Stapleton and that number will obviously continue to increase. With so many teenage drivers, it’s not just the parents of those drivers who are concerned. “Our kids aren’t close to driving yet,” said parent Deb Stewart. “But I am definitely more worried about my own kids crossing the street to go to the park, or playing in the alleys, crossing the alleys, etc. Teenagers don’t always have the best attention spans.” Dick Mitchell agrees.

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Amy and Chad Crosley moved to Stapleton from the Governor’s Park neighborhood about eight months ago. They loved the park space, the design of the homes and neighborhoods, and realized all the things Stapleton had going on made it an up and coming neighborhood. “Things like the train we actually think are really cool,” said Amy. “What a fun and easy way to get downtown. We definitely like to do things in the city, so we plan on using the A-Line a lot.” Chad also appreciated all of the hip restaurants coming in. “We actually toured the Stanley before it opened and thought that was going to be really cool,” said Chad. “Then, with the Eastbridge restaurants coming in, and at some point Punch Bowl, it really makes it a fun neighborhood to be in.” The couple also has enjoyed meeting new neighbors and other people in the community. “There are a lot of fun people here,” said Chad. “I think people who haven’t been here really give Stapleton a bad rap.” The one thing the couple is beginning to get frustrated with, however, is how many times people ask them if they are going to have kids.

[Read more…] about Stapleton Couple Without Kids Almost Sick of Being Asked Why They Don’t Have Kids

On New Year’s Eve and again on January 7th, some cowardly degenerates slashed vehicle tires of residents of the Northfield Apartments. Some residents had multiple tires slashed, costing them hundreds of dollars. The Northfield Apartment complex is an 84 unit affordable housing development located in Northfield. No one has been caught in connection with the events, and the Denver Post article does reference concern from at least one resident of the complex that it could be fellow Stapleton residents lashing out who did not want the complex in the neighborhood. I find this extremely unlikely, as the risk-reward prospect for an existing resident does not make sense at all. The only reward would be driving people from living there because of slashed tires versus the risk of going to jail, public humiliation, losing your job, possibly your family, and on and on. So, it’s highly unlikely this was the impetus for the vandalism.

[Read more…] about Westword Gets it Wrong on Stapleton…Again

Girl Scout cookie sales officially started a couple weeks ago, and Scouts and their parents were out in full force pushing their delicious goodies on Stapleton residents. This is typically a happy time of the year, where adults get to see cute little ones sell cookies, and of course, eat the cookies as well. There are several different scout troops within the borders of Stapleton, and troops have long kept the peace by negotiating sales territories. However, this year, violence erupted when a girl scout from troop 338 noticed a girl from troop 1265 selling cookies within what she considered a 338 territory in Bluff Lake. “What are you doing in our back yard?” yelled Kendall Miller. “This is 338 territory. You best be on your way, and I can pretend I never saw this.” A defiant Rylie DeGroot yelled back, “Not anymore. The 1265 has decided to open this area back up. This is now anyone’s game. Didn’t you hear?” More words were shouted as the two girls quickly approached each other. Suddenly, the girls began fighting. Cookies went flying, dollar bills flew into the air along with sales sheets. It was chaos. When the girls were finally separated, they both knew this was only the beginning of the violence. Troop 338 was not only going to protect their territory, but now they would also feel entitled to sell in 1265’s territory. What started as a small skirmish between two girls has started a massive war between scouts from several troops. As girls from troop 338 and 1265 continue to invade and sell in each other’s territories, other troops have begun waring over territories as well, looking to protect and expand their territories. “This is not what the Girl Scouts of America are about,” said local troop leader Nikki Larson. “We should be supporting each other, not fighting. But, to those not honoring their territory commitments, you are going to get a beat down.” There is no sense of when and if the violence will end, but experts believe the only way to stop it is for residents to continue to buy cookies. “Once the cookies are gone, violence should subsist, and scout leaders will come back to the table to redefine territories,” said organized crime expert Dave Cox. “But, we need to get those cookies off the streets, people. We must continue to buy those cookies. It’s our only hope.” *Editor’s Note:  If your cookie supplies are running low, please contact The Stapletonion at stapletonion@gmail.com, and we will get you hooked up.  We got what you need. 

The Fredricks and Jackson couples have known each other for a long time, seeing each other at various gatherings such as school fundraisers, holiday parties, or just running into each other at the Berk. They always have a fun, easy-going conversations, and appear to have a lot in common. “We always thought they seemed so nice and fun,” said Julie Fredricks. “You could just tell they were good people.” The Jacksons feel the same way about the Fredricks. “Great sense of humor,” said Mike Jackson. “We are always trying to find fun couples to hang out with, and you could tell they were fun.” The couples would talk and laugh, and when they had to leave, they always ended the conversation the same way; “we need to get together sometime.” These conversations happened every time they saw each other over the years, and every time they would again say, “we need to get together sometime.”

[Read more…] about After Trying to “Get Together” for Six Years, Stapleton Couples Finally “Get Together”

Kristen Bauer is very similar to her neighbor Justine Winga. They both have two kids, are active stay at home moms who exercise and keep busy social calendars. They are both heavily involved in their children’s’ schools including the PTA and fundraisers. On top of it all, they are really good friends. But one thing seems to really be bothering Bauer lately. “How in the hell is Justine’s house always so clean?” Bauer Wonders. “We both basically have the same schedule, and I know she doesn’t have a cleaning lady more than me. Her kids and husband are just as lazy as my family, so why is it that every time I stop by her house, everything is perfectly clean?” Bauer says the cleanliness applies all the time, not just for scheduled visits. “It would be one thing if everything was just neat and picked up when they had us over for dinner. That makes sense. But, if I stop by unexpectedly to borrow a stick of butter, that damn place is spotless. How in the hell is that possible?”

[Read more…] about Busy Resident Struggling to Understand How Neighbor Keeps House Clean

Orange Theory fitness continues to grow as they now have hundreds of studios operating in 46 states. Colorado alone has roughly 25 studios. Members rave about the results and about the challenge of the workouts. “I absolutely love everything about it,” said Member Stephanie Jepsen. “I really enjoy the workouts, and love how it tracks what you are doing. Really gives you that sense of accomplishment when you are done.” Troy McFarlane agrees. “I enjoy the intense atmosphere,” said McFarlane. “The group environment is neat as well. And I like that it allows you to compete with yourself and really push yourself.” But don’t let the good times fool you. The classes are meant to be hard. “They are definitely killer workouts,” said Jepsen. “I have done all sorts of exercise regiments, and they really work you.” In fact, according to McFarlane, the only thing harder than the class, is finding space in a class that works with your schedule.

[Read more…] about Getting Into Orange Theory Class Harder than Actual Workout

In a recent Front Porch article, RTD acknowledged the A Line train horn would be blaring for at least another six months. They came to this conclusion after using the most sophisticated technology at their fingertips; the groundhog. “We have a groundhog, named Thomas,” explained RTD spokesperson Tina Jaquez. “Every six months or so we pull him out to see if he hears his shadow. If he hears his shadow, we know it will be at least six more months where we will have to use the train horn to alert people at the crossings.” The Federal Railroad Administration (FRA) says the A Line is not up to safety standards in regards to crossing gates going up and down in a timely manner. “We need to fix a few bugs,” says Jaquez. “But, we really don’t know how to fix those things. It probably seems like it would be easy, given the technological advances of today, but we just aren’t sure where to start. So, we will keep using the groundhog until we get a better idea.”

[Read more…] about Groundhog Hears Shadow; Train Horn to Blast for Six More Months