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Last Thursday, October 20^th, the Stapleton community experienced its own real life horror. Something that made Friday the 13^th, Poltergeist, and Scream seem like an episode of the Wiggles. Usually, reporters like me receive anonymous tips or hear second-hand of these types of incidents. Then, a fierce investigation follows where we need to confirm and extract details to keep our journalistic integrity. This process is grueling but necessary. This most recent occurrence needed no such investigation, however, for this reporter was there on the scene when the story unfolded. Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR), an extremely popular and award winning American lager, is kept on tap at Stapleton’s favorite watering hole, The Berkshire. This under-priced beverage is a favorite among regulars and beer connoisseurs alike. [Read more…] about Nightmare on 29th Street: Berkshire Runs Out of PBR

The Stapleton neighborhood in Denver is absolutely one of the most festive communities in all of Colorado. During Christmas (or the Holiday Season, depending on your religion), homes are heavily decorated with lights, snowflakes, reindeer, and Santas. It is hard to find a home that does not participate in decorating their homes, and if there is, they are typically ostracized by their neighbors. Halloween is no different, with residents clamoring to be the most “spooktacular” home in the neighborhood. The Stapletonion sent its team out to look around Stapleton to track the Halloween decorating trends, and to scope out the best decorated homes.  Spiders seem to be big this year, in both senses. Everyone is decorating with spiders, and they are typically massive spiders (almost unrealistic looking). Many homes have devices which will scare unsuspecting trick-o-treaters as they approach the home. Overall, another great effort from the Stapleton community in regards to being festive. There was one house that did go overboard, however. The Stapletonion will not disclose the location of the home, but will discuss the issue. The resident had done a great job decorating overall, but then took it over the top when they put an actual dead body in a coffin outside of their home. Although The Stapletonion appreciates the resident’s enthusiasm, we strongly feel this is overboard. The Stapletonion wanted to reach the resident for comment, but was much too frightened to approach the home.]]>

We have all seen them. Tens and tens of golf carts driving around Stapleton, typically to pools, and sometimes just to parties. For the most part, the carts are harmless. Sometimes you may get stuck behind one temporarily on 29^th street, not sure if you are allowed to pass them or not, but overall, the Stapleton golf carts are not a problem. The carts are mostly fun novelty items that non-cart owners envy, and occasionally get to enjoy a ride from a friend or neighbor. The one day a year that golf cart owners really get the ugly stares is on Halloween. Cart owners take the kids out trick o treating using the golf carts, which allows for an already easy Stapleton candy-grabbing experience to become even easier. “I don’t like it at all,” says resident Jim Miller. “I have seen it where they literally keep one big bag on the cart and the kids empty their small bags after hitting each block. These kids are not earning this candy at all.” [Read more…] about Golf Carts Give Unfair Advantage to Local Trick-O-Treaters

[Read more…] about 2011 Study: Candy-Testing Unnecessary, but Very Tasty

Denver public school students have been working hard all year. They are up early and in the classroom learning by 8:15. They go to school five days a week, except for half of the day on Friday. Then, I guess, they recently had Labor Day off as well as two other days in September. Their next full day off will not be until this Friday and then the following Monday (Halloween). That’s a lot of days to be at school. In fact, according to the public school calendar, kids are in school for 171 days. That’s almost half of a year. Some of those are half days, and of course, there are going to be sick days, and inevitably parents are going to sign their kids out of school for vacation or other events. But in the end, kids are still spending over 40% of their days in school. Is it time we considered a few more breaks for the kids? [Read more…] about Halloween Gives Stapleton Students Much-Needed Break

Send in pictures of your child, you, or your family to The Stapletonion, and if we publish your submissions in our November 9^th issue, you will receive a free Stapletonion tee shirt(s).  The photos must be of you or your family, and we will not accept any photos of pets being dressed up. The Stapletonion does not take a stance on gun ownership, the death penalty, or taxes, but on something as important as dressing up pets, we have to say NO. Please send photos to: Stapletonion@gmail.com, with the subject line “Halloween.” Thank you in advance for your submissions. And yes, that’s our #1 staff writer dressed up and ready for some Halloween action!]]>

At roughly 2:33 PM on September 30^th, a nightmare occurred in the EaWe neighborhood of Stapleton that lasted for about three hours. Power was dead.  Flat screen TVs, iPad chargers, Nintendo Wii Systems, and automatic can openers all rendered useless. 911 fielded hundreds of calls in a matter of minutes from concerned residents. “We were very concerned about what authorities were going to do about the “Aurora problem,” said EaWe resident Jamie Cox.  “How safe were our families? Does power lock my doors or is my security alarm affected by this?” Authorities did react quickly to the middle class voting community by quickly sealing off the streets of Havana from the south as well as Central Park Blvd.  “The safety of EaWe and the Stapleton community is our top priority,” said Denver Police chief Gerald Whitman. “We know that a lot of people in this community voted for and some even had yard signs promoting Mayor Hancock.” Due to the quick actions of EaWe residents in calling the police, and the actions of the police themselves, no Aurorans made it into EaWe. There were reports of some Aurora hoodlums climbing the fence that is near the “future” 26^th street park, but by then it was too late. Power was restored and the community was safe again. In the end, no structural or property damage had been done, but strong emotional damage had set in. “There should be something in place regarding safety procedures if this happens again,” said Kate Swanson. “Do I contact my block captain?  My SUN rep? The police again?” The Stapletonion has learned through its sources that SUN has already formed a sub-committee to create a manual to follow if an emergency situation like this occurs again.]]>

Although the Stapleton King Soopers is criticized for several things, there is one thing that annoys those forced to shop there due to no alternative than anything else:  people not returning their carts.  It affects the parking spaces, bangs up unsuspecting cars, and most of all, simply irritates people that other people are that lazy. [Read more…] about New Technology has King Soopers Carts Insulting Those Not Returning Them