Last Thursday, October 20th, the Stapleton community experienced its own real life horror. Something that made Friday the 13th, Poltergeist, and Scream seem like an episode of the Wiggles.
Usually, reporters like me receive anonymous tips or hear second-hand of these types of incidents. Then, a fierce investigation follows where we need to confirm and extract details to keep our journalistic integrity. This process is grueling but necessary.
This most recent occurrence needed no such investigation, however, for this reporter was there on the scene when the story unfolded. Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR), an extremely popular and award winning American lager, is kept on tap at Stapleton’s favorite watering hole, The Berkshire. This under-priced beverage is a favorite among regulars and beer connoisseurs alike.
I arrived at the Berkshire to finish a story and do some other work at about 2:22PM. The bartender, who somehow knew I enjoyed PBR, immediately broke the horrifying news. “Sorry we are out of PBR.” The hair on my arms raised, I suddenly felt cold, and adrenaline shot through my body. “Fight or flight…” I decided to fight, and was forced to order a bottle of I think “Budweiser,” but I am not quite sure on the name or the spelling.
While drinking this sub-par beverage, patron after patron arrived, unwittingly ordering a PBR, only to be knocked back by the terrible news, almost as if hit by a shot gun. Some cried. Others left immediately. Some lesser men curled up into a ball screaming uncontrollably. That’s a scream I will never forget.
Finally, almost an hour and 15 minutes later, PBR was back on tap. There were shouts of joy and cries of relief. Stapleton would again be able to quench its thirst with the Blue Ribbon beer. When asked for comment, The Berkshire simply stated that, “this was a very unique and ghastly experience that will never happen again.” That may be so, but this writer recommends that if you are going to go to the Berkshire, don’t go it alone.]]>