{"id":976,"date":"2011-08-03T09:28:58","date_gmt":"2011-08-03T16:28:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=976"},"modified":"2011-08-03T09:28:58","modified_gmt":"2011-08-03T16:28:58","slug":"pocket-park-rules-simplified","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=976","title":{"rendered":"Pocket Park Rules Simplified"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[<a href=\"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/park-rules1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-987\" title=\"park-rules\" src=\"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/park-rules1-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" \/><\/a>\nThe old well-intentioned rules posted at Stapleton\u2019s pocket parks have become too long, stale, outdated, and cumbersome. The Stapleton MCA has taken down the old signs and replaced them with signs that are more direct, yet explain the rules very clearly.<!--more-->\nThe \u201cDon\u2019t Be Douchey\u201d signs will help residents police themselves when at the pocket parks. For example, if there are 30 kids running around in the middle of the park, probably the non-douchey move is to keep control of your dog by leash or other measures.\u00a0 If there are few people at the park, it\u2019s not that douchey at all to let your dog run free. There are no scenarios where not cleaning up after your dog is not douchey.\n<em>The Stapletonion<\/em> has listed a few general rules below that are common sense, but give you a strong understanding of how to behave and not behave while at one of the many pocket parks:\n\n\n<ol>\n\t\n\n<li>Are there any public places are you allowed to sell things without a permit? Seriously, don\u2019t be a douche.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>We really don\u2019t care if you skateboard. Just don\u2019t be a douche about it. We don\u2019t want you inline skating, as you can\u2019t inline skate without looking like a douche.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>If you leave your sh#t overnight here, it will be stolen or thrown away by morning, you forgetful douche.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>Do drugs BEFORE coming to the park. Don\u2019t be a douche and do them at the park.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>Only complete douches from Aurora litter. If you want to litter, move east a half a mile you lazy douche.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>We don\u2019t care about glass bottles. We care about clumsy douches that break glass bottles.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>Don\u2019t start fires, but by all means shoot off fireworks. The only people that don\u2019t like fireworks are absolute douches.<\/li>\n\n\n\t\n\n<li>Gambling is great. Gamble all you want, but we highly recommend not betting that the Buffs will cover the spread this year. If you do that, you will be one poor douche.<\/li>\n\n\n<\/ol>\n\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-976","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-issue-10","7":"category-uncategorized","8":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=976"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/976\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}