{"id":6993,"date":"2017-05-18T19:29:56","date_gmt":"2017-05-19T02:29:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=6993"},"modified":"2020-07-10T20:46:32","modified_gmt":"2020-07-10T20:46:32","slug":"speed-sign-on-central-park-boulevard-needs-to-calm-the-fck-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=6993","title":{"rendered":"Speed Sign on Central Park Boulevard Needs to Calm the F*ck Down"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Speed-sign-1-768x529-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-7971\" width=\"384\" height=\"265\" srcset=\"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Speed-sign-1-768x529-1.jpg 768w, https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Speed-sign-1-768x529-1-300x207.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 384px) 100vw, 384px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are reading this, the odds are you have driven north on Central Park Boulevard heading towards Northfield.\u00a0 Of the handful of things that can be a little annoying on this stretch, by far the most irritating is the speed sign. \u201cI really hate that damn thing,\u201d says Stapleton resident Jacob Essex. \u201cI mean, it flashes when you are going one mile an hour over 30. Really? Is the flashing necessary? Relax. It\u2019s one mile per hour, you jackass sign.\u201d Other residents have the exact same experience. \u201cIf that sign was a grown man, I would pull over and kick it\u2019s ass,\u201d said Mike Davis. \u201cWhy are you flashing at me? Oh, you\u2019re mad because I am going four miles per hour over the speed limit. Well, sign, I think you need to calm your shit.\u201d Ultimately, the sign probably accomplishes its goal of keeping residents driving slower and safer on this small stretch, but in the long run, may be causing more damage. \u201cAfter I see that sign, I am so pissed off, once I get through that annoying stretch, I drive aggressive and mean,\u201d said driver Brad Gerbracht. \u201cWho does that sign think it is to yell at me for driving two miles an hour over the speed limit? Relax, jerkoff.\u201d Some residents have considered removing the sign themselves. \u201cI have absolutely thought about heading out there late at night and tearing that sign down,\u201d said a Stapleton resident speaking on condition of anonymity. \u201cI am just worried that it will somehow get caught on tape, and I will get busted for kicking a sign\u2019s ass.\u201d Finally. Something all Stapleton residents can agree on. The sign can stay, but the unnecessary flashing, well, that has to go.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-6993","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-issue-147","7":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6993","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6993"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6993\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7972,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6993\/revisions\/7972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}