{"id":6417,"date":"2016-06-22T21:00:58","date_gmt":"2016-06-23T04:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=6417"},"modified":"2016-06-22T21:00:58","modified_gmt":"2016-06-23T04:00:58","slug":"stapletonians-report-to-police-total-dog-sht","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=6417","title":{"rendered":"Stapletonian\u2019s Report to Police \u201cTotal Dog Sh#t\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"total<\/a>Last Thursday, someone reported a car driving slowly down alleys near 35th and Akron. The suspicious man was seen getting in and out of his car, going into people\u2019s backyards and then putting stuff in his trunk. \u201cI saw the strange behavior and texted a tip<\/a> right away,\u201d said resident Michael Potter. \u201cWe have too much of that stuff going on around here so I want to put a stop to it when I can.\u201d Luckily, police arrived at the scene and pulled the man over.\n\nUnfortunately for Stapleton residents, the man wasn\u2019t arrested, and no charges were pressed. On a positive note, it turns out the man was some sort of pooper scooper who cleans up people\u2019s backyards. \u201cI didn\u2019t even know that was a thing,\u201d said resident Katie Propp. \u201cPeople hire people to pick up their dog poop? Only in Stapleton I guess. And we wonder why we are targeted. Who wouldn\u2019t want to rob a neighborhood so wealthy they have other people come clean up their dog poop.\u201d The police say they appreciate residents reporting suspicious behavior, even when it turns out to be total crap. \u201cThere is no way of knowing what this person in an unmarked car was doing so it was good they contacted us,\u201d Said officer, Jeremy Thompson. \u201cObviously, in this situation, it was just a bunch of shit, but next time, it could really be something.\u201d The Stapletonion must give credit to Stapleton Community Watch, who was the first to \u201cscoop\u201d the story.]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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