{"id":622,"date":"2011-06-07T23:58:58","date_gmt":"2011-06-08T06:58:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=622"},"modified":"2011-06-07T23:58:58","modified_gmt":"2011-06-08T06:58:58","slug":"stapleton-library-slated-to-open-exactly-one-day-after-libraries-become-irrelevant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=622","title":{"rendered":"Stapleton Library Slated to Open Exactly One Day After Libraries Become Irrelevant"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"\"<\/a>\nResidents are eagerly awaiting the opening of the new Stapleton Library, but unfortunately, the grand opening has bad timing, according to most analysts.\u00a0 \u201cSadly, libraries are quickly going the direction of the newspaper,\u201d said Wall Street Journal .com analyst Jake Wharton.\u00a0 \u201cWith Wikipedia, who needs microfiche; with the Kindle, who needs physical books; with the iPad, who needs anything else,\u201d questioned Wharton.\nWharton appears to be correct according to the plans for the grand opening.\u00a0 Matt Shelton, Kindle\u2019s DGD (Director of Global Dominance), is expected to be present at the ribbon-cutting ceremony, but only so he can quickly make an offer on the land.\n“As Kindle expands into other vertical markets, we asked ourselves what does Stapleton need more than anything right now,\u201d asked Shelton.\u00a0 \u201cThe answer was pretty clear – another gas station, and we want a piece of that action. What do they need less than just about anything in the world? A whole building full of paper books. Seriously, what are they going to build here next, an electric typewriter store?”\u00a0 Some have argued that although the poor will soon be able to afford iPads and Kindles, libraries are really about the kids.\u00a0 Wharton disagrees. \u201cHave you ever seen a kid with an iPad? That kicks the heck out of a kid in a library.\u201d\u00a0 Wharton also makes another solid point.\u00a0 \u201cIf the Stapleton Library was really for the kids, they wouldn’t have built it so close to Aurora in the first place.\u201d\nAnalysts can not say with complete certainty that libraries will become obsolete, but most agree that understanding how to find a book using a card catalogue will become significantly less important in the next year.]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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