{"id":6104,"date":"2015-12-16T22:00:55","date_gmt":"2015-12-17T05:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=6104"},"modified":"2015-12-16T22:00:55","modified_gmt":"2015-12-17T05:00:55","slug":"cracks-of-stapleton-familys-couch-probably-grossest-thing-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=6104","title":{"rendered":"Cracks of Stapleton Family\u2019s Couch Probably \u201cGrossest Thing Ever\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"disgusting<\/a>A vast majority of Stapleton residents have young kids, and with kids, comes messes. Nothing can stop them. We all start off with rules regarding where they can color, paint, play with play dough, and other crafts, but over time, the kids wear us down and win out. It\u2019s the same thing with food. First, it\u2019s only eating at the dining table, then the ottoman, and pretty soon, it\u2019s just, \u201ctry to eat over your plate.\u201d Families try to clean up the messes, or hire people to clean them up, but the mess force that is children seems to be an unstoppable force. \u201cI feel like I\u2019m constantly sweeping or vacuuming,\u201d said Stapleton mom Lesley Fogdall. \u201cOr wiping things off, or scrubbing things, and we have house cleaners come once every week. It is just exhausting.\u201d\nIn fact, most kids are so messy, parents refuse to purchase new furniture until their kids are out of the house. \u201cWhat would be the point,\u201d said resident Jason Starbeck. \u201cThey would just ruin that as soon as we got it. It\u2019d be like throwing money directly into the garbage. We already waste enough money on these kids, we don\u2019t want to give them the satisfaction of destroying one more valuable thing in this house.\u201d So, most Stapleton residents move on with their days pretending not to notice the almost incomprehensible inadequacies of their furniture.\n\nMany residents do make an effort to have their furniture professionally cleaned, however. \u201cWe called an upholstery cleaning place to see if we could get some furniture looking a little better at least,\u201d said Fogdall. \u201cThe guy came out to give us an estimate, but basically, he decided it wasn\u2019t going to work out. When he was reviewing our downstairs couch, dressed in full hazmat garb, he became visually disgusted. He said he has been working in upholstery cleaning for over a decade, and before that worked in the exterminator business. He told us very frankly that the cracks in our downstairs couch were, \u2018the grossest thing ever.\u2019 He then preceded to give us the phone number of one of his competitors, and wished us luck.\u201d You definitely cannot stop kids from making huge messes. In fact, I\u2019m not sure they can even be slowed.\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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