{"id":4882,"date":"2014-07-15T22:37:57","date_gmt":"2014-07-16T05:37:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4882"},"modified":"2014-07-15T22:37:57","modified_gmt":"2014-07-16T05:37:57","slug":"angry-birds-runners-bikers-fight-off-protective-mother-bird","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4882","title":{"rendered":"Angry Birds: Runners, Bikers Fight off Protective Mother Bird"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"Bird<\/a>Stapleton runners and bikers beware. You are facing a new danger. No, not bad Aurora drivers. Off leash dogs? No, you figured out how to avoid those long ago. How about muggers? That\u2019s pretty unlikely. The biggest danger to runners and bikers in Stapleton are mother birds. That\u2019s right, overprotective birds trying to protect their young at all costs. A Stapleton runner explains.\n\u201cI was running on MLK<\/a>,\u201d said runner Gabe McCarville. \u201cRight about where the drive is to get into the rec center, something hit the top of my head. I turned around, and sure enough it was a bird coming back at me for another pass. It was crazy.\u201d McCarville said he at first thought it was a random incident, but he runs the same route often. \u201cIt happened to me three more times,\u201d said McCarville. \u201cI\u2019m aware that I could have crossed the street, but I have too much pride to hide from some small bird. I wanted it to come down and fight like a man. However, it\u2019s a bird, so it really only knows bird fighting, and wouldn\u2019t know the first thing about how men fight. Unless it watches Bloodsport<\/a>, in which case it would have a really good idea of how men fight.\u201d\n\nMcCarville\u2019s case was not an isolated incident, as other runners have complained of the bird attack. \u201cI was running along, and this bird just went crazy tweeting at me and flying by me,\u201d said runner Dwight Rastetter. \u201cSomething has to be done about these crazy birds.\u201d Biker Tanya Bell agrees. \u201cI was attacked at the same spot,\u201d said Bell. \u201cI meant the bird no harm, but somehow it saw me as a threat. Well, that bird is the threat. A threat to Stapleton.\u201d Concerned residents have met with SUN President Mike Victoria to discuss options for the birds. \u201cI\u2019m not an ornithologist, nor do I have any idea what place birds play in our delicate ecosystem,\u201d said McCarville. \u201cBut I think we should kill them all. If they are supposed to be eating mosquitos, they are clearly not doing their job. Even just one Stapletonian in danger is too many.\u201d\n\u201cWe have formed a committee<\/a> to look into our options,\u201d said Victoria. \u201cOne thing would be allowing runners and bikers to carry firearms to protect themselves from birds,\u201d said Victoria. \u201cOther options would be poisoning the birds, or possibly trapping them and relocating them.\u201d SUN hopes to make a decision within the next two weeks so that runners and bikers can avoid being attacked during the upcoming nice biking and running months.\nEditor\u2019s Note: The author of this article was absolutely \u201cattacked\u201d three times in this location, and witnessed a biker crossing the street as they had been attacked as well.\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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