{"id":4787,"date":"2014-05-27T21:29:51","date_gmt":"2014-05-28T04:29:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4787"},"modified":"2014-05-27T21:29:51","modified_gmt":"2014-05-28T04:29:51","slug":"bad-stapleton-moms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4787","title":{"rendered":"Bad Stapleton Moms"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tSubmission One<\/strong>\nI\u2019ve always had a potty mouth. Later on, as a mom, I really didn\u2019t let up. This was first demonstrated by my oldest daughter yelling the f-word during mass at 1 \u00bd years old when she dropped her toy (in front of my mother-in-law who is very Catholic and very southern and very proper, I might add). Now, as a mom-of-three, it\u2019s just a coping mechanism \u2013 swearing \u2013 some words just make me feel better. Or, sometimes there is no other word that fits or accurately expresses what I\u2019m trying to say or what I feel.\nI don\u2019t swear AT my kids, I swear AROUND them. It\u2019s just cathartic\u2026and they\u2019ve grown used to it (though started to comment on it). \u201cWhere the hell are my keys?\u201d \u201cF\u2019ing dog \u2013 she sh*t the floor again!\u201d \u201cDammit \u2013 I forgot to pick up milk!\u201d\nMy favorite? \u201cAre you f\u2019ing kidding me\u201d said to no one in particular \u2013 the food I just burned, the mess I just made, the errand I forgot to run, the ridiculous email I receive, or the bad driver in front of me. My 8-year old said it for me once this year when something happened and I was staring at a mess without words \u2013 she smiled and said, \u201cAre you f\u2019ing kidding me?\u201d I almost peed my pants \u2013 but also realized it was time for a change.\nSo I decided to TRY to stop swearing in front of the kids. When I announced my 2014 New Year\u2019s Resolution to stop swearing? My kids were actually excited and cheered me on! After a rocky start, I announced that I was starting a \u201cswear jar,\u201d whereby I would place $1 for every swear word I let slip in front of the kids. Within two weeks it had almost $50. Thereafter, my kids started feeling sorry for me and giving me \u201cfreebies.\u201d They\u2019d say, \u201cMom, you\u2019re frustrated at the plumber or vacuum or whatever, don\u2019t put a dollar in the jar for that one.\u201d Or, \u201cMom, I was pretty bad and fresh to you this morning, so don\u2019t put any money in the jar for that one.\u201d WTF?!?! My swear job experiment wasn\u2019t helping me, but it was helping teach my children to be empatheticic towards me? That\u2019s a twisted turn of events. How much is in the jar now? Let\u2019s just say that we might be headed for a family dinner at the Capital Grille in the very near future.\nSubmission Two<\/strong>\nMy ten year old son and I went to Chicago. We checked into our hotel room at eight and we were starving. There was a Malnetti’s pizza 5 blocks away. My son and I walked there and a table was a two hour wait so we ordered take out (which was just an hour). We went back to our room and he was exhausted so I locked him in a hotel room so I could pick up the pizza and swing by 7-11 to buy some beer. It seemed perfectly normal to me until I got home and told my friends how delicious the pizza and beer were and my friends focused on me leaving my son alone in Chicago while I wandered around picking up beer and pizza. It is possible that it was a bad parental move.\nI have been called at work more than once by my kids wanting to know if I am picking them up from school. If it is raining in the morning I drive them and then I forget that they cannot bike home.\nI was at my son’s school as a guest speaker one time and he interrupted me and I flipped him off. Surprisingly, I am still allowed in the school.\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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