{"id":4291,"date":"2013-11-19T22:10:53","date_gmt":"2013-11-20T05:10:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4291"},"modified":"2013-11-19T22:10:53","modified_gmt":"2013-11-20T05:10:53","slug":"stapleton-wal-mart-king-of-the-five-phalange-discount","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4291","title":{"rendered":"Stapleton Walmart King of the (Five Phalange) Discount!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"\"<\/a>The Denver Post<\/a> recently reported that the Stapleton Walmart is by far the city\u2019s leading shoplifting destination. That\u2019s right Stapleton, we\u2019re number one, again. Apparently, America\u2019s lowest guaranteed prices aren\u2019t quite low enough for the shoplifting community who is demanding an even better deal than Walmart is willing to match.\nIn fact, Walmart is reporting that the Stapleton Walmart is in the top 5% nationwide for shoplifting. Shocking? Not really. Without even considering socioeconomics, I think we may be able to come up with a few reasons why the Stapleton Walmart reigns supreme when it comes to the ol\u2019 smash and grab.\n\nIf you have ever forced yourself to go into the Stapleton Walmart, you will notice that there are basically no employees on the floor to help you. It is actually harder to find an employee than it is to find the item you were going to ask them to help you find. Secondly, typically the lines are ridiculous, and the checkout process seems to take about twice as long as what one would expect at a major retail outlet. I absolutely have thought about running out of there just so I wouldn\u2019t have to wait. Finally, there is just something about a Walmart that makes you want to get out of there as fast as you can, and sometimes that urge probably hits when you have items on your person.\nSo, congrats to the Stapleton Walmart for this distinguished honor. Maybe by next year we can get into the top 1% in the nation. As for your sister store, Sam\u2019s Club, great things are happening there as well. Two buses and a motorhome have been parked in the giant lot, apparently deciding the Sam\u2019s club lot is their new home. I\u2019m hoping by spring it will be a full-fledged trailer park. There\u2019s just something comforting about having drifters parked in buses and motorhomes next to a couple of pre-schools.\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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