{"id":4212,"date":"2013-11-05T20:47:58","date_gmt":"2013-11-06T03:47:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4212"},"modified":"2013-11-05T20:47:58","modified_gmt":"2013-11-06T03:47:58","slug":"wiped-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=4212","title":{"rendered":"Wiped Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"\"<\/a>Get ready Stapletonians, the producers of ABC\u2019s hit show \u201cWipeout!\u201d are coming to town, specifically the Quebec Square \u201cMall\u201d \u2014 that plot of land that bills itself as a place to purchase goods and services but is more human pinball machine than shopping experience.\n\nFor the uninitiated, Wipeout! broadcasts people competing in elaborate obstacle courses with water and mud features, projectiles and about anything else that can be dreamt up to generate wide scale human frustration, embarrassment and futility for the viewing public.\n\u201cWe were driving I-70 on our way to a shoot in a new edition of the show \u2014 Wipeout! Global Newsmakers, in Aspen; our ratings have dipped and we\u2019re thinking outside the box, but that\u2019s another story \u2014 and needed to gas up,\u201d says executive producer of Wipeout!, Andrew Sellers. \u201cQuebec Square was just there, so we turned off. We barely got back to the highway with our truck and lives intact!\u201d\nAnd that\u2019s when lightning struck: \u201cWhat a great place to shoot an episode,\u201d Sellers told his camera crew. \u201cThe parking lot designs alone create enough chaos and frustration to ruin anyone\u2019s day \u2014 and that\u2019s riveting TV.\u201d\nSellers and crew circled back to the Quebec Square and spent the rest of the day filming a test run.\n\u201cWhat makes Quebec Square such an ideal location for this concept is the combination of people\u2019s need for convenience \u2014 you know, they are going to the mall to buy everyday items, groceries, shampoo, duct tape; things they really need to get by day-to-day \u2014 and the utter lack of thought on the part of whoever designed this place. It\u2019s a suburban family nightmare \u2014 so perfect.\u201d\nThat mix of time-pressure anxiety with bottlenecked cars, mismatched traffic patterns and pedestrians darting across streets because there are no true cross walks, \u201ccreates the magic for what we do \u2014 human frailty on display,\u201d says Sellers. \u201cWe couldn\u2019t have designed one of our obstacle courses any better \u2014 I want to say to the Quebec Square planners, if they are still around, \u2018bravo and we\u2019re hiring!\u2019\u201d\nOne particularly gripping story is that of Gloria \u201cRedacted\u201d \u2014 a housewife who was preparing for her son\u2019s 7th birthday and 20 friends arriving at her home in two hours.\n\u201cI forgot the eggs for the cake,\u201d Gloria recalls. \u201cI know. I know. I shouldn\u2019t have gone to Quebec Square at the height of the rush, but it was Sunday and I thought the Broncos-Falcons game was on, so people would be home watching. I miscalculated the time difference on the East Coast by an hour \u2014 I screwed up.\u201d\nSellers and crew just happened to be at the right place at the right time \u2014 Gloria was barreling through the parking lot when her Toyota minivan hit a massive pothole.\n\u201cTo be honest, we thought it was the beginnings of a sink hole,\u201d says Sellers. \u201cWe were filming and I thought \u2018what a stroke of luck; that lady\u2019s entire front end was swallowed by that thing.\u2019\u201d\n\u201cThe eggs I\u2019d just bought were thrown out of the bag and everyone one of them spattered,\u201d Gloria recalls.\n\u201cShe was sobbing; it was Hollywood magic. I asked if she was OK and her name.\u201d\n\u201cGloria \u2026 Redacted.\u201d\n\u201c\u2019Redacted, is that Greek?\u2019 \u2014 She stopped crying and gave me a stare I\u2019ll never forget.\u201d\n\u201c\u2019No\u2019, she tells me, and then paused as if to say, \u2018you moron.\u2019 \u2018I want to redact my name for the cameras \u2014 I\u2019m so embarrassed.\u2019\u201d\n\u201c\u2019Of course, of course. Now, let\u2019s go get you some fresh eggs.\u201d\n\u201cEventually, it all worked out, but I\u2019ll never do that again,\u201d Gloria laments.\nUnfortunately for Sellers and crew, whoever\u2019s in charge of Quebec Square Mall now has finally caught on to what a disaster trying to navigate the place is \u2014a new traffic signal has been installed in one of the mall\u2019s main arteries and the fever-pitched mayhem has noticeably dissipated.\n\u201cWe were crushed to learn someone had actually acted responsibly at Quebec Square,\u201d says Sellers. \u201cWe have a lot of incredible footage before the traffic signal was installed, and the place is so massive there is plenty of opportunity for more, but that new signalized intersection has really changed the vibe at Quebec Square for the better \u2026 or worse, depending on how you look at it.\u201d\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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