{"id":3475,"date":"2013-04-16T20:25:56","date_gmt":"2013-04-17T03:25:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=3475"},"modified":"2013-04-16T20:25:56","modified_gmt":"2013-04-17T03:25:56","slug":"kim-jong-un-adds-stapleton-control-tower-to-preferred-targets-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=3475","title":{"rendered":"Kim Jong Un Adds Stapleton Control Tower to \u201cPreferred Targets\u201d List"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"\"<\/a>Recently, North Korea released a photo which was intended to show its list of U.S targets for a possible nuclear strike. These targets include the obvious places, Hawaii, Los Angeles, New York City, and most certainly, Austin, Texas. However, top U.S. military officials were unable to understand why North Korea has one of the targets on the list. That target is the old Stapleton Control tower in the Stapleton neighborhood in Denver, Colorado.\n\n\u201cIt doesn\u2019t make a lot of sense,\u201d says General Schmit. \u201cIf they could strike Denver, they could probably hit Colorado Springs, which is a much better military target. I don\u2019t know what intelligence they have that says that control tower has any significance whatsoever.\u201d Other military analysts agree. \u201cThere is nothing out there, internally or externally, that claims that this Stapleton landmark is nothing more than an unused, crumbling control tower,\u201d said top American military analyst Jeff Jones. \u201cNot even the Soviets have this on their target list, and they at least could hit it if they wanted to.\u201d\nForest City President Phil Dargossi issued the following statement: \u201cWe have recently been informed that our Stapleton Control Tower is a target of the communist regime of North Korea. Although in no way could North Korea ever send a missile over the Atlantic Ocean to the United States, nor could they ever accurately hit the state of Texas, we are asking our residents to be vigilant, and on high alert<\/a>.\u201d\nResidents have mixed feelings about the information that has come to light. \u201cWho cares,\u201d exclaims Jim Winga. \u201cThis could not affect me less. The North Korean government is a bunch of idiots.\u201d Erin Clark agrees. \u201cThis actually makes me more confident that these guys can\u2019t do anything right. If you are trying to nuke the control tower, clearly you have your head in the wrong place.”\nSome Stapleton conspiracy theorists are taking a different approach, however. \u201cWhat is going on inside of that tower<\/a>?\u201d asks resident Steve Holst. \u201cAre they using it as a drone command center? Gathering top intelligence? Tracking UFO\u2019s? Clearly, something weird is happening in that facility, and I am going to find out.\u201d\nResidents are being asked to stay away from the tower, not because of any military threat, but because the structure is unstable and could unpredictably fall at any moment.\n]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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