{"id":1406,"date":"2011-11-29T22:37:58","date_gmt":"2011-11-30T05:37:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=1406"},"modified":"2011-11-29T22:37:58","modified_gmt":"2011-11-30T05:37:58","slug":"stapleton-couple-staying-together-because-of-the-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stapletonion.com\/?p=1406","title":{"rendered":"Stapleton Couple Staying Together \u201cBecause of the kids\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\"\"<\/a>\nNancy King and her husband Matt have been married for nine years now, with many of those years being unhappy ones. They have two children, Abi a six year old, and Andrew a four year old. They both love their children, and know that it is not healthy to raise them in an unhappy home. So why do they stay together?\n\u201cWe have realized that raising kids is a lot of work,\u201d says Nancy. \u201cAs much as I sometimes despise Matt, he is good with the kids and is very helpful. I could never afford help like that if we were divorced.\u201d\n\u201cDo you realize how much work divorce is,\u201d exclaimed Matt. \u201cWhat if we do the every other week or weekend thing. During my weeks, I have to do all of that picking up, dropping off, feeding, putting to bed, putting clothes on them, laundry, etc. on my own. That is just way too much to ask.\u201d\nIn spite of their relationship shortcomings, Matt and Nancy make an excellent team. When one wants to go hang out with friends, the other stays home with the kids with no problem. While Matt is rushing the kids off to soccer practice, Nancy is getting the groceries for the week.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t even imagine doing all this crap on my own,\u201d says Nancy. \u201cPeople say we need to get out and try to be happy, but I don\u2019t see a lot of scenarios where I am happy having the kids away every other week and then trying to do everything for them while they are here. Maybe when they are both in junior high we will finally call it quits.\u201d\nRelationship expert Dr. Kevin Miller makes a distinct difference between staying together \u201cfor\u201d the kids versus \u201cbecause\u201d of the kids. \u201cMany people convince themselves that they are staying together for the kids,\u201d says Miller. \u201cIn a majority of cases, this is simply not accurate. Staying together for the kids means you are trying to do them a favor. Living in an unhappy household never benefits the kids. However, when you stay together because of the kids, you are correctly implying that the inconveniences you would suffer in a divorce outweigh the potential happiness you may benefit from through a divorce.\u201d\nDr. Miller actually recommends staying together because of the kids at least until the kids are in 4th<\/sup> or 5th<\/sup> grade, unless the couple is unable to avoid fighting in front of the children on a nightly basis. In that case, he recommends an immediate separation.]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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