Colleen Lawruk and her neighbor Angi Heller were out for a jog when they encountered a site that shocked them both. “I had to do a double-take. We passed a woman jogging with a stroller that wasn’t a Bob.” Colleen and Angi discussed it the entire way home.
“The bizarre thing is that she actually looked like she was in shape which I can’t figure out. I didn’t think it was possible to be in shape without a Bob,” said Colleen. One theory is that she is not from Stapleton. “That would make the most sense. Maybe she jogged in from Park Hill to take notes on how we live and look. Perhaps she has already purchased her Bob. The worst would be if she lives here and actually doesn’t care what people think. That would be a tragedy. Can you imagine not caring what people think? How can you fit in here and not care what people think? That’s just unthinkable.”
“What about her poor child,” asked Angi. “He looked like he just turned one. Image development starts now and making sure you have the right mode of jogging transportation is vital to a child’s development. This could really hinder his confidence and image development.” There is a chance that she is new to Stapleton and hasn’t read Stapleton’s Guide to the Advanced Child. It clearly states that you should not cart your child around in anything that costs under $500 for their psychological image development.
“I have to admit I didn’t see what she was wearing,” added Angi. I was too shocked by the brand of stroller. That may have solved this mystery. I mean, if she was in LuLulemon then mystery solved — her Bob is in for upgrades or repairs and this is a loaner. Or maybe she found something cheap to use in the meantime at a consignment store in Aurora.”
Another theory is this unidentified woman was trying to save money. “That would be another tragedy,” says Colleen. “Take out a small loan if you have to. It just is not right to use anything other than a Bob for jogging and a Chariot or Burley for biking if you live in Stapleton.”
To keep up with current trends, The Stapletonion recommends reading its Fall Fashion Guide coming in September, as well as recommendations in Stapleton’s Guide to the Advanced Child.]]>