When Forest City opened up the Prairie Dog and Pigeon Preserve Nature Trail in late August of 2014, it did so with little fanfare. And now, less than two years later, the trail has been torn away, making way for an actual legitimate project. “We were definitely just screwing with people back then,” said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “The whole thing was done so haphazardly, I can’t believe more people didn’t make a bigger deal about it. I mean, the cheap blacktop trail and that comically out of place wooden fence, it was unsightly.” Ayers says the idea behind the original project was to simply continue distracting residents from the fact that nothing had been done in accordance with its original promises regarding the area. “We had construction guys out there doing stuff, which we hoped would give the appearance that something was in the works. Obviously, it was nothing, just a horribly built trail and fence. The workers weren’t even on an actual construction crew.”
Most residents are happy to see the trail give way to actual progress. “That phony piece of blacktop garbage was awful,” said Eastbridge resident Skylar Weber. “It was flooded most of the time, and a haven for bugs and weeds. Glad to see actual work will be done.” Resident Megan Stagemeyer agrees. “The trail was such a tease,” said Stagemeyer. “At first we thought, ‘oh, great, a trail.’ But then, after it was completed, we thought, ‘is that supposed to be a trail?’ So, having it removed by an actual construction crew is a step in the right direction.” Resident Chris Stevens didn’t even know the trail was on the chopping block. “I just was driving on 26th one morning, and poof, it was gone,” said Stevens. “My heart got really warm, and not from the coffee.”
Ayers said Forest City never intended to make a formal announcement on the destruction of the trail. “What would we have said?” asked Ayers. “From our perspective, it was a diversion, not a project. We can’t really have ceremonies regarding faux projects we just made up. Let’s be honest, Forest City has a whole ‘House of Cards’ thing going on. Everything we do is for a reason. You people just don’t know why yet.” Ayers said construction is now under way for the long-awaited actual park. “Of course it will have a trail as well. But not that sham of a trail we installed a couple years ago. I can’t believe you people fell for that.” ]]>