Paul Rudee was enjoying a leisurely bike ride on Saturday on the Westerly Creek bike path when he came across an empty double wide stroller parked in the middle of the path under the bridge. With agile maneuvering and quick thinking, he launched his bike at least 1 foot to the dirt on the side of the path and averted disaster.
Paul had not had come across the stroller mafia before and he quickly pedaled his bike hoping to make a quick escape, but the Stroller Mafia wasn’t going to let him off that easy. They launched a verbal assault and the situation deteriorated quickly. He was finally able to narrowly escape when the gang was distracted to find the culprit of a poopy diaper. “The stroller mafia rules the streets,” a sippy-cup battered Paul said afterwards.
This incident follows closely after the tragic story of Bruno, the golden retriever, that was so terrorized by the approach of the stroller mafia, that he piddled right on the sidewalk. The stroller drivers from both incidents were heavily disguised with nice tans, over-sized sunglasses, Whole Foods hats, and lycra jogging outfits- making it virtually impossible for anyone to tell them apart.
“Stapleton residents should avoid the stroller mafia at all costs. They are armed with gold fish crackers and are not afraid to throw them.” said a representative from the Denver Police Department.
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