A large contingent sleep deprived parents are petitioning the MCA to immediately ban the growing incidents of “faux” sleep-over birthday parties or “The Faux”. “The Faux” are defined as a late afternoon/early evening party, where children attend, dressed in pajamas, filled with incredible amounts of sugary products and then returned to their parents around 9:30pm or 10pm. One concerned parent has coined the phrase: “Faux F..kover”.
“Are you kidding me?” voiced parent Greg Miller, “This is complete bulls..t. “Man up and take my kid for the night. You can’t jack my kid up with games, soda and cake and put him back in my lap. They are destroyed the next day after a crappy night’s sleep,” complained the parents of twin boys, Alison O’Neil. “I spend at least $20 per week buying presents for birthday parties, at least you can make pancakes for them the next morning”.
The petition has been signed by over 560 concerned parents to immediately ban “The Faux”. Penalties include adding parents that suggest “The Faux” to a black list and publishing their names in the Front Porch and revoking their membership from Stapleton Mom’s. Acceptable parties would include providing a complete sleep-over party experience with a drop off of no later then 6pm, with children staying up until at least 10:30pm and a morning wake-up of no later than 6:30am, breakfast included and a parent pick up after 9:30am. This would allow the dropping parent(s) to enjoy a night out and a full night’s sleep and a morning work-out at the Bladium. “This makes total sense”, complimented parent Wanda Smyth, “I hope the MCA considers this reasonable proposal soon”.
MCA community liaison, Jamie McGovern is taking the petition very seriously. “Tired kids and pissed off parents are two of the major causes of domestic violence in our community”, stated Ms. Jones. “Unfortunately, this petition is fourth on our list after The Bouncy House Ban, Parents Against Birthday Parties in Thornton and We Hate the Aurora Chuckie Cheese”.
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