Stapletonians, well-known for housing some of the largest big screen TVs in Denver, have long frustrated enterprising Auroriaites who lack transportation to reach the prime Stapleton real estate. Fortunately for the enterprising but vehicleless, RTD has come to the rescue. Buses now travel down one of Stapleton’s quietest lesser-known streets – 29th Avenue – providing riders with access to hundreds of homes with plasma TVs.
“Holy moly” exclaimed Jeff Jones, a long time RTD rider who has been frustrated that bus routes never go the places with the truly big TVs, is thrilled with this new access. “In my line of work, it’s really limiting to be stuck on Colfax and Colorado Blvd. This 29th Avenue route opens up new opportunities. I’m excited that the bus comes every 30 minutes, is easy to board, and has plenty of open space to transport large electronics.”
Not everyone is as excited as Jones. Some living on 29th Avenue were shocked to learn that the city bus route outlined in the Stapleton Master Plan and widely discussed for years is real and buses would actually travel down one of the longest neighborhood main corridors in Stapleton. “I thought those multi-person benches on the tree lawn were for wildlife viewing,” said longtime resident Josh Clark. “I had no idea that RTD would actually stoop to implementing their plan. Now I’ll have people who don’t look like me waiting in front of my house for their getaway bus.”
Other Stapletonians, however, are more circumspect. “It’s not all bad having your old 42” flat screen lifted,” says Blake Williams. “With the two year old dinosaur gone and insurance payment in-hand, I can justify that 65” Plasma I’ve had my eye on.” Still others are quick to point out lessor known consequences including:
- The noise of the buses will disturb the beauty sleep of the neighborhood Labradoodles.
- The addition of four new vehicle trips per hour will utterly destroy the rural quality of life on 29th Avenue.
- The dangerous intermingling of bicycles with large, gasoline-powered vehicles is simply unthinkable.
- Small, innocent children will be clutching their au pairs at the sight of city buses in their idyllic neighborhood.