The Stapleton community has been a buzz lately with the news that a Stapleton bar will be coming to the community and offering all sorts of Colorado micro-brews. Residents certainly enjoy the current options, but definitely are not against having another one. “Another bar never hurt anybody, right,” commented North Central Park resident Kelly Seery. “My biggest concern is that it is within biking distance. Sometimes, three 16 oz. glasses of that micro-brew stuff gets me pretty pickled.”
The only concern that has come up at all is whether the bar will even exist. “There is definitely a thought out there that this whole thing is a prank,” said resident Keith Carman. “We have received very little information, and it is entirely possible that this is an elaborate April Fool’s hoax.” Other residents agree with Carman. “They refuse to even let the community know the location,” exclaims Scott Morningstar. “If you were opening a new place, wouldn’t you that be the first thing you would let everyone know? This has Tuiasosopo written all over it.”
The Stapletonion was able to get in contact with the alleged owners who agreed to speak with us on the phone on the condition of anonymity. “We are definitely real, and very excited,” said the owner of the soon to open speak easy. “We are keeping information quiet because it just makes it much cooler. If everyone knew where it was going to be, it really wouldn’t be that cool.”
The owner mentioned that they are not even going to make an announcement when they open. “Everything is going to be old school. No web site, facebook page, twitter, or anything like that. It is going to grow organically from cool people telling other cool people where it is, and how to get in. We will even have a secret knock. If we can contain it to just cool people for a while, that would be nice.”
The bar will have a piano, old jukebox, and a couple of pool tables. “The really neat thing about our place is that some people never will know we exist. The cool people will either keep it quiet, or tell the less cool that it simply doesn’t exist. But, the truth is, for people that are able to find us whenever and wherever we open, you are going to have a hell of a time.” ]]>