In a recent study done in partnership with Forrest City and the City of Denver, it has been predicted that the Central Park Recreation Center will eventually become very similar to a 24 Hour Fitness. “When we say that, we don’t mean in the sense that it will be open 24 hours,” said lead analyst Jay Carlson. “And certainly, it won’t have that many classes, or any employees that are going to call you and ask about your fitness goals. The similarity we are assuming will happen is the biggest thing which is that the Central Park Rec Center will simply become a place for people to socialize, flirt, and in general, meet people of the opposite sex.”
Carlson points to several factors as to why this is occurring. “First of all, there are a lot of good looking people in Stapleton, mostly women,” says Carlson. “Secondly, it has a similar divorce rate as the rest of the city, and with a highly populated small area like this, it simply means there will be a lot of good looking divorced people here. And these people will continue to keep in shape, and continue to seek relationships. The gym will become one of the venues for this rising group of individuals to meet.”
Some members of the community are hoping this doesn’t happen. “Hey, I want people to meet people and be happy like everyone else,” said married resident Eric Closson. “But it really grosses me out when I see dudes staring at chicks or going up and talking to them. I mean, stare at them discretely like I do, and definitely don’t try picking them up.”
Other residents are not so bothered. “Even if my wife divorces me, I have no interest in picking up chicks at the gym,” says Steve Elmer. “However, I will say, for whatever reason, if there are hot chicks working out at the gym while I am there, it does help me get through my workout.” Study conductors admit there is nothing that can be done to change this potentially social dilemma. “We cannot control divorce, and we cannot control sex drive,” says Carlson. “What will happen is going to happen.” ]]>