A recent Denver University study confirmed what many Stapleton residents have known for years. Stapleton is unofficially Denver’s drunkest neighborhood. Dr. Mike Potter from Denver University said a similar methodology was used from that of Princeton Review’s Top Party Schools. Over 250,000 Denver residents completed surveys which included information regarding how often they drink, what they drink, how often they attend social gatherings, how often they drink with their neighbors, among many more questions. “We also tabulated geographic things such as number of liquor stores within a certain area and number of times Uber or cab services were used between certain hours,” said Potter. “The biggest thing we learned was that people who can afford alcohol, and have kids, drink a lot.”
Residents said the study is not something to be proud of, but certainly wasn’t surprising. “Most nights you can text a neighbor about getting together for some drinks, and at least one person will respond,” said Eastbridge resident Nicole Shannon. “I think the stress of trying to keep up with the Jones’s and raising kids drives one to drink. A lot.” North Central Park resident Joe Jepsen agrees. “There are a lot of successful people in Stapleton,” says Jepsen. “And you don’t climb the corporate ladder by not being fun and not being social. Sure, you have to be smart, but being likeable is equally important. And people that drink and are social, are just more likeable.”
Potter said there were certain areas where Stapleton was off the charts in respect to its comparison to other Denver neighborhoods. “One of the questions was in regards to how often you walk around your neighborhood with an open container,” said Potter. “It’s almost as if Stapleton residents have no regard for laws pertaining to drinking. 68% said they had walked around their neighborhood for more than three blocks with an open container of alcohol. Second place was Wash Park with 24%.” Potter says the study was done in good fun, and isn’t meant to promote or misrepresent a neighborhood in any way. “It was something we thought would be interesting, and would bring some PR our direction,” said Potter. “But, I will say, those Stapleton people drink a lot.”
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Issue 128
MCA to Residents: “Stop Dumping Unsold Garage Sale Items in Creek”
The Stapleton garage sale was this last weekend, and the streets were crowded with residents and non-residents looking to pick up great items at a low price. The Stapleton garage sale mostly serves as an opportunity for residents to do some spring cleaning, getting rid of old kids toys, clothes, and unwanted furniture to make room for the new pieces. But, buyers are often just as excited to grab these old items. “We had our stuff out on our lawn by 7:30 in the morning,” said resident Amy White. “And all the big pieces of furniture were gone by 9:15. Some people were even fighting over who got to what first. I really don’t care. I just wanted it off my property.” Although most residents experienced at least modest success at getting rid of their unwanted furniture, there were still items left behind.
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Stapleton Family Lets Everyone Know, “We’ll Be at OUR Place in Vail This Weekend”
The Wubbenas are fairly outgoing people, and when they are headed to the mountains, they become even more outgoing. “We love Mindy and Jake,” said friend and neighbor Teresa Hays. “But, it can be a little painful when they go to their place in the mountains because it is definitely a little braggy. Yes, we know you are doing well, we know you have a place in Vail. Just say you are going to the mountains. We can fill in the blanks.” Friend Stacy Schack agrees. “She definitely likes to work it in to the conversation,” said Schack. “I won’t even ask, and she will say things like, ‘we need to get together, but I can’t this weekend because we are headed to our place in Vail.’ It’s pretty transparent that she is trying to brag about the place.”
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Construction of Town Center Juvenile Detention Facility Coming Along Nicely
The juvenile detention center being constructed in the 29th Ave. Town Center is currently ahead of schedule, according to the managers of the project. “We’ve made some great progress in the last couple of weeks,” said project manager Marc Weber. “We are ahead of schedule, and it appears we should be done about two months earlier than expected.” The project which was originally supposed to be completed by December could now be done as early as October. “We know the detention facility is ready to start bringing in guests immediately,” said Weber. “There has been some pressure to get it done early, based on the number of troubled youth, but we are building at a comfortable pace.”
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Dog Waste Bag Dispenser Out of Goddamn Bags Again
Sam Poolman is a responsible dog owner who always brings extra dog bags with him in case of any surprises, and sometimes even picks up waste from dogs whose owners weren’t quite as responsible. Poolman lives in Eastrbridge and will often walk his dog Hawkeye around the F-15 Park during his trips. “I like to walk around the park, see what’s going on,” said Poolman. “Plus, sometimes a friendly dog will come by to say hi to Hawkeye.” Poolman almost always enjoys his carefree walks with his dog, but sometimes he can get frustrated.
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Breaking News: Stapleton Neighbors Resolve Dispute Privately and Civilly
The Campbell family had recently become irritated with their neighbor’s, the Liens, late night weekend gatherings on their back patio. “It was frustrating because at first, we thought it was a onetime occurrence,” said neighbor Katy Campbell. “Then, it seemed like every weekend they were having friends over, and were up late listening to music and hanging out. It’s not that big of a deal, except we have a baby, so we need her to sleep, and we need the sleep.” The Campbell couple knew what they had to do, but it was going to go against the grain of how almost everyone in Stapleton prefers to solve neighborly disagreements.
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