Issue 48

In another bold move, Forest City has purchased the rights to the DIA Mustang, nicknamed “Blucifer.” The “art” project has never been very popular with the Denver community, and most residents do not like the fact that the evil mustang is one of the first things to greet visitors when they come to Denver. “I think it is just an awful piece,” said Denver resident Kevin Clark. “Did they think it was new age, modern, or hip? How was this piece ever okayed?” Well, because of certain rules Denver has when it comes to these publicly funded art projects, the piece must stay up for at least five years before it is up for consideration to be removed. That five years has now passed, and more than likely, a petition will be made to have it removed. So, Forest City decided to step in. “People that want to get rid of this thing are crazy,” says Forest City President Phil Dargossi. “I am somewhat of an art snob, and I know good art. This is a great piece.” Dargossi said that before people had a chance to petition it out and destroy it, he thought he would get it in the hands of a community that really appreciates art. “Stapleton is absolutely an artsy community, and will love having this piece so close to the town center,” said Dargossi. Blucifer will replace the area that had been taken by the big Christmas tree near the fountains. “This is a very exciting move for Forest City,” said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “I mean great art is hard to find, but now, all you need to do is follow the glowing, freaky eyes.” Residents are meeting the new project with mixed reviews. “I didn’t like it 15 miles away from me,” said Laura Smyth. “Why would I like it 10 blocks from me? Resident Ken Lair disagrees. “The kids are really going to think this is cool,” said Lair. “And think of all the weird folk stories we will be able to scare our kids with. Stay out too late, and Blucifer will come and get you.” Blucifer is no longer a public art project and is owned by Forest City, and therefore not subject to removal by petition.]]>

Brian and Michelle Asbee have two children, Reece (2.5), and Madison (6 months). Since Michelle had their second child six months ago, they have faced several challenges. Getting two kids on a similar schedule, traveling with two kids, making sure Reece is getting the proper attention, and simply trying to get some sleep among other things. But perhaps the biggest challenge they have faced is figuring out a way to determine who is doing more work. [Read more…] about Stapleton Couple Hires Actuarial Scientist to Help “Keep Score”

Jeremy and Tessa Whiteman are typical Stapleton residents. They work hard and do everything they can to provide for their kids. Also like most Stapleton residents, they are extremely proud of their children. “We of course think our kids are beautiful, athletic, and extremely bright,” says Tessa. “At this point, the sky is the limit in regards to their potential.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Parents Disappointed in Child’s Winter Weight Gain

In a much anticipated announcement, Digstown has made public its plans to begin offering table etiquette classes for Stapleton pets.

 “We have continued to receive many requests for us to help Stapleton dogs and cats acquire better table manners, and we finally decided to offer classes in the evenings for small groups of pets and their owners,” said Tammy Jarvis manager of Digstown, Stapleton’s well known doggie day care facility. 

”I mean – I keep hearing people whining about how their dog jumped up on the table and scarfed down a handmade burrito or helped herself to Egg Nog or Christmas cookies.  We think these classes will be very popular,” Jarvis said. 

Dogs and cats will learn whether to start with a beverage or solid food and where to place paws on the table when not eating and interacting with family members – along with other training on appropriate requests for additional food and gestures.  Rue shown above is attending her first class.

 “I’m just thrilled to hear this news.  I took my Labrador Martin over to some friends for dinner and he didn’t know how to sit up straight or that he should have waited for the hostess to be seated before he started on his Kibbles n Bits Gormet Blend.  I was just horrified,” said Sue Lindsley local Stapleton resident.

 “This is great!  I’ve been working hard to socialize my dog to Stapleton standards, but there’s still a lot of pressure, not to mention looks from friends when my dog Kiki starts helping herself to my neighbors’ fresh pasta or fresh fruit without asking.  This class is really going to do wonders – not to mention my daughter Maddie keeps trying to get Kiki to stay seated for her tea parties. “

Jarvis mentioned that pricing for the new table manners classes will be posted on the Digstown website by early next week.]]>

King Soopers conducted its own study for the sake of the Stapleton community in regards to adding an all-natural grocer. Residents have been begging Forrest City for years to add an all-natural grocer to the Eastbridge town center, or anywhere else one could be placed. But according to King Soopers, the study’s conclusions do not give much hope to residents hoping for such a grocer. [Read more…] about King Soopers: “Natural Grocer Could Not Make it in Stapleton”

For years Forrest City and the City and Stapleton Development Corporation (SDC) have struggled with meeting original plans and projections when it came to having affordable housing in Stapleton, and therefore, living up to its goals in becoming a diverse, urban community. Forrest City has tried several options, but none have moved the needle much when it came to hitting its goals of 10% affordable housing. [Read more…] about Forrest City and the City and Stapleton Development Corporation Redefine “Affordable Housing” as $368,000 and Below

In November, SUN conducted a survey which mostly asked questions about Stapleton 4, the new elementary, but also included a token question about 711 being able to offer 3.2 beer. Here are the results to that survey: What are your opinions on the 3.2 beer license application by the incoming 711?

• 46%: I didn’t know there was another 711 coming in here
• 27%: I guess I am confused as to why I care what the 711 is going to offer
• 13%: Strongly oppose it. I think it might bring poor people too close to our community.
• 9%: 3.2 or not, I don’t mind picking up a quick 40 oz. every now and then.
• 5%: Other

What most influences your decision to put your child into Stapleton 4?

• 73%: Programming. Has to be the programming. I’m just messing with you, it’s the location.
• 11%: Because I am not a liar, I will tell you it’s the location.
• 11%: Leadership and administration, but mostly the location.
• 5%: Other

Which math curriculum would you prefer Stapleton 4 use?

• 45%: Because I don’t know what any of these methods mean necessarily, I will just trust that the people that went to school to make these decisions will make the best decision.
• 29%: Singapore Math. It sounds like the smartest, don’t you think?
• 13%: Everyday math. The odds of my kids ever having to do math in Singapore is pretty low.
• 11%: I only have daughters, so I strongly prefer no math.
• 2%: Other

Which type of programming would you most like to see at Stapleton 4?

• 44%: Really good programming. I mean, I want top notch programming.
• 35%: Above average programming would be great. But, I’ll take average if my kid can easily walk or bike to school.
• 13%: Decent programming. I don’t want my kid to outsmart me too soon.
• 7%: Just lots of gym class and recess. I know I always liked that. Throw everything out, and just have gym and recess.

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