Issue 47

Too often the National Rifle Association (NRA) comes off as greedy, self-serving, and sometimes even crazy. But recently the NRA is looking to change that perception, and they took one of their first big steps in Stapleton in Denver. “This community seemed like the perfect place to begin the new story of the NRA,” said NRA CEO and Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre. “A story of giving, and more than anything, a story of caring.” LaPierre along with the NRA has agreed to donate several hundred guns to Stapleton’s schools, in what he believes should help make parents, teachers, and most importantly kids, feel safer. Local parent Nikki Witherow agrees. “After 911, I was strongly in favor of passengers being able to carry guns,” says Witherow. “That way, if a bad guy has a gun, at least a bunch of good guys have guns, and no one can argue that the ONLY way to stop a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun.” Longtime Denver Police officer and current Denver Sherriff Joel Lair disagrees. “That doesn’t even make sense,” says Sheriff Lair. “That’s why we have police negotiators who often talk down people with guns, and there are countless other examples of people without guns disarming people with guns through physical force. It’s a pretty stupid saying.” But it is not stupid to the local teachers, most of whom already feel safer. “I think it is going to just put me at ease,” said local teacher Steve Doyle. “I mean, how is a bad guy going to get a gun into a school that has dozens of guns already? They can’t. That’s your answer.” The main issues some residents have with the new guns is the lack of training teachers may have in regards to shooting one, their ability to handle a serious crisis, and potentially their ability to take another person’s life. Although over 20% of Stapleton’s teachers were previously special forces in the military, another 70 to 80 percent have never fired a weapon. “If I can deal with one kid throwing up while another is trying to cheat on a math test, I am pretty sure I can handle anything,” said Doyle. “I mean, if all these uneducated NRA people can figure out how to shoot a gun, I am sure I can.” Although local leaders agree that shooting a gun is probably pretty easy, there will be weekend courses available for teachers who choose to carry a gun. “We are going to set up firing ranges,” said SUN President Mike Victoria. “The community wants to make sure the teachers have had plenty of practice. There will be two temporary firing ranges in Stapleton, one of which will be in the Eastbridge Town Center, and the other will be in the undeveloped area near the control tower.” Guns will be distributed to area teachers based on position of authority and then tenure. “I have only been in this district for a year and a half,” says teacher Laura Barry. “So, I’m not counting on getting a really good gun, but at least I will get one. That’s the important thing.” LaPierre plans on being in Stapleton on “gun draft” day and plans to kick it off with an inspiring speech. “It is not finalized yet, but I will definitely point out that with all these guns in the Stapleton community, residents can look forward to years of safety and prosperity.” ]]>

Stapleton Parents of the popular after-school program Kaleidoscope recently became outraged when they learned one of the games the children were playing was spin the bottle. “This was just unbelievable,” said parent Angela Wolf. “We know they are going to chase each other around and play dangerous games such as red rover, but spin the bottle? Most of these kids are in second grade or less.” Area Kaleidoscope program director Angie Tiedt disagrees. [Read more…] about Parents Angry Kaleidoscope Teaching Kids ‘Spin the Bottle’

Forrest City overall has done a tremendous job at developing Stapleton into a vibrant, active, semi-diverse community. They have done this through contracting a variety of builders, architects, planners, and other creative minds. The one area where they may receive a “needs improvement” mark would be on following through on promises they made to residents and buyers in regards to the future of the community. The Eastbridge Town Center and 26th Ave. Park are the biggest examples of this, especially now that Eastbridge residents will finally be getting the school they were originally promised. [Read more…] about Forrest City Working Hard on Next Broken Promise So Residents Forget About Past Broken Promises

Local biker Brian Kimball is pretty hard core when it comes to his biking. He has a $3000 bike, the best CamelBak, the newest energy bars, the most recent of hideous bike clothing, and of course, biker shorts. Kimball began biking in 1999, shortly after Armstrong won his first Tour de France title. “It is such an inspirational story,” says Kimball. “Not just recovering from cancer, but being able to beat all those other bikers whom were clearly on performance enhancing drugs.” Kimball continued to follow the career of his new hero, Armstrong. “He just kept winning,” says Kimball. “Just unbelievable. And I have read his books several times.” Kimball was able to get into better shape, but there was some downside to his newfound love of cycling. “I would go for six hour bike rides with friends every weekend,” says Kimball. “Obviously, we would wear the similar jerseys when we rode because, yeah, we are a team.” All the time away began to cause strain on his marriage, which eventually ended in a divorce in 2002. “I told her that my life was all about the bike. She just couldn’t accept it.” [Read more…] about Armstrong’s Admission Not Enough for Stapleton Biker

Deadspin broke the scandal early this week, and it was confirmed by Westerly Creek students and the music teacher that Westerly Creek students were in fact lip syncing the closing number, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at the annual Christmas concert. “This was shocking news to say the least,” says Principal Laura Plakke, whom strongly denies having any involvement. “We take pride in our music program, and have the best Christmas concert in the community. We didn’t have to sync it for it to be a successful concert.” Parents of students were outraged. “When we come to this concert, we expect it to be the authentic, angelic voices of our children,” said parent Angie White. “We trust the music department of Westerly Creek to present our children’s voices in their natural, beautiful state. Many of us left the concert believing it was the best rendition of Rudolph we had ever heard. Then, we find out it was all a fraud.” [Read more…] about Westerly Creek Students Lip Synced “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” at Christmas Concert

[Read more…] about Stapleton 4 School to Officially be Named Stapleton 4

In a recent study conducted by the Denver Police Department along with the Stapleton Cop Shop, SUN, and the MCA, it was learned that residents with their garages left open were five times more likely to get robbed than those left closed. “This is some surprising, yet convincing evidence that people should be more conscientious when it comes to closing their garage doors,” said Cop Shop operator Jed Logan. “We had suspicions that this might be the case, but not to this extreme.” [Read more…] about Report: Open Garages More Likely to be Burgled Than Closed Ones