The Stapleton garage sale has become bigger every year. It is becoming more organized, with more items, and consumers are flocking to it from all over the world. This year, over 7,000 Stapleton homes sold items ranging from SUV’s to match box cars. “It was another great event,” said consumer Marie Wilson. “We spent about $700, but we probably saved about $2500 on items that we needed to get.”
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North Central Park Residents Building Security Wall
With the completion of the Fulton through street to Aurora and Havana soon to follow, North Central Park residents fear that Aurora leakage will extend passed Eastbridge to other parts of the pristine Stapleton community. “I don’t think community leaders, Forest City, or the City of Denver are really looking at the long-term ramifications of these through streets,” said North Central Park resident Sam Westwick. “This could drastically affect the safety of residents as well as the long-term home values of Stapleton.”
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Northfield to Become Outlet Mall-Topia?
The Northfield Mall continues to struggle, long after the completion of the Central Park Blvd. Exchange. Forest City, owners of the mall, are looking to potentially change the landscape of the mall forever. “We are looking at the possibility of turning the area into an outlet mall,” said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “The current format isn’t working, and it’s like they say in the mall business, if it ain’t workin’,’ turn it into an outlet mall.”
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Business Spotlight: Moving Company Moves Residents from Old Stapleton Home to New Stapleton Home
Stapleton is growing again with the expansion of Bluff Lake and coming soon, Conservatory Green. With all these new builds, new residents are coming into the community, but many of the people moving into the new Stapleton homes are current Stapleton residents. “A lot of our clients are current Stapleton residents,” said real estate expert Jody Donley of New Perspective Real Estate. “They want to stay in the neighborhood, but are looking to get a bigger home, a home from another builder, or simply move to a different neighborhood within the community.”
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"Perfect" Very Popular in Perfect Stapleton
As some readers may have noticed, the latest fad phrase/saying is “perfect,” as in “I think I can meet you at the Berkshire at 7:15.” Response: “Perfect.”
It is no surprise that in such a perfect place like Stapleton the saying “perfect” is being used so much. Also not surprising, some residents are complaining a bit that they are hearing it too often. Part of the “perfect” craze is for people to mention how their kids are in a “perfect” amount of activities this summer. “If I hear another crazy Stapleton mom use the word perfect again, I’m going to lose it,” says an unnamed nanny who asked us not to disclose her name.
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Stapleton Enviros Secretly Use Chemical Weed Killers
A Stapletonion investigation has unearthed a network of extreme environmentalists who bond over their silent shame. They secretly use chemical weed killer. These men reside in Stapleton and find support in just being with each other as they share their double lives.
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Forest City to Build Nation’s Most Dickish Sounding Apartment Complex
Move over Ritz Carlton, Park Avenue, Drake Hotel and 157 57th St. There is a new name in high end apartments. Forest City will soon begin construction on the Aster Conservatory Green located near the scenic Shops of Northfield. “We wanted a name that said ‘elegance,’ said Forest City Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “We also needed a name that reminded everyone in Denver that Stapleton people are much better than everyone else. We think Aster Conservatory Green does that.”
The Aster Conservatory Green is scheduled to be completed sometime late in 2015 and will include several amenities. The complex will offer custom cabinets, high ceilings, built in wine storage, hardwood floors, a community pool and clubhouse, and of course, an overall air of entitlement. “I have seen the designs, and it is definitely Stapletonesque,” said resident Aaron Potter. “I would absolutely consider living there once my wife and I get divorced.”
Forest City says that they already have a lot of interest, and believe the places will be reserved a full year in advance of opening. “This is going to be a special place,” said Spokesperson Janelle Ayers. “Northfield is such a special place. The Aster Conservatory Green will be located on the upper west side of Northfield, and people are going to be close to so many wonderful shops and restaurants. Also, we made sure to put a price tag on these places that only Stapleton-type people can afford.” Those interested in getting more information on the Aster Conservatory green can go to www.aster.com.
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Officials for New High Tech Elementary Struggle in Using Email, Smart Phones
Just before ground broke on Stapleton’s newest elementary school, DPS officials sent an email to community leaders alerting them of the new development. “I literally found out about this the day they started digging,” said SUN President Mike Victoria. “It would have been nice for them to make it at least appear that they cared about the opinions of the members of the community.” MCA President Liza Kampsta agreed. “We have tried so hard to keep community members involved in big decisions,” said Kampsta. “We stay connected with Forest City, and all the different city government institutions. “I really don’t know what happened here.”
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