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Stapleton five year old Kyle Graham is a normal Stapleton child in almost every way. He enjoys playing with his friends, riding his bike, playing with his toys, and watching movies. Like most kids, he also eats a lot of chicken nuggets. A LOT of chicken nuggets. In fact, Kyle has eaten chicken nuggets for 43 days in a row. “I like them,” said Kyle when asked why he eats so many chicken nuggets. “I like catsup, and I like that they are shaped like dinosaurs. They taste good in my belly.” Kyle’s mom Kristen isn’t concerned about her son’s chicken nugget diet. “It’s not like that’s the only thing he eats at all,” said Kristen. “And it’s not like every meal. He has a different breakfast, then nuggets for dinner or lunch. And of course, eats something else the other meal. So, not that big of a deal.” Nutritionist Dr. Adam Keating agrees. “It’s really not that big of a deal at this age,” said Keating. “The bigger issue would be just getting them to be more adventurous and trying different things so they don’t develop it as a serious, long-term habit. It won’t be as healthy as they get older, but for now, it’s not going to destroy his health.” Mom Kristen says she will eventually start weaning him off of them. “Pretty soon, we will go down to four days a week, then three and so on.” Kristen says she has no intention of having Kyle go for the record. “I have no idea if there is a record for eating nuggets so many days in a row. Whether there is or not, we won’t be going for it.” ]]>

There are some things in life a bottle of whiskey just can’t fix. I realized that about 1:30 this morning while sitting on my porch, disgusted and distraught. Less than half of Americans (Hillary won the popular vote, plus third party voters) decided reality TV star and real estate mogul Donald Trump should be our next President, but that was enough. This bizarre election season finished the way we should have predicted; with an even more capricious ending. More votes were cast (roughly 200,000 more) by Clinton supporters who are surely as shocked and dismayed as I am. Many of these voters are from cities, where issues such as crime, poverty, and inequality are pronounced, which makes it is easier to see the need for Americans to have a more liberal viewpoint. To those voters (of which I am), I am sorry for this difficult defeat. But, there are voters who live in rural areas across the country who blocked out the noise, looked at the big picture and not just their small towns, did their research, and understood a Clinton presidency was the right direction for our country, given the choices. A majority of their friends and neighbors across their towns and in their industry were supporting Trump, and they would have to be polite or private in regards to their politics. They knew their vote may not matter, but they also understood the importance of being counted, and maybe for simply knowing they did the right thing. I feel significantly more pain for these voters. [Read more…] about Presidential Election: That Seriously Just Happened?

Theft is nothing new to Stapleton, and neither is the diversity of the people accused of committing those crimes. Whites, blacks, and Hispanics have at one time all been involved in some sort of caper in the Stapleton neighborhood. More recently, the dead have even gotten into the act. “We came home in the middle of the day to find three skeletons breaking into our house,” said resident Lee Lauterbach. “It was very concerning. I mean, I show respect for the dead. Can’t they show a little respect for me?” The break in was the fourth report of skeletons robbing Stapleton homes in the month of October. “We expect this from people who are alive,” said wife Darcey Lauterbach. “But when the dead start coming into our homes, it’s pretty disconcerting. What next, the undead? Really frustrating.” The Denver Police Department says they are monitoring the situation. “We are aware the dead have been causing some problems in the Stapleton neighborhood,” said Officer Mark Elmore. “We are increasing patrols…again, and are hoping the dead feel our presence and go back to where they came from. Wherever that may be.” Elmore is encouraging residents to be vigilant and make sure they report anything suspicious they see from the dead. “Absolutely call 911 immediately,” said Elmore. “Let us know location. And at the risk of sounding bones-ist, there is no need for giving a description. All skeletons pretty much look the same.” Make no bones about it. The recent rash of skeleton crime is real. The dead are here to stay. ]]>

With the encouragement of the Stapleton Principal HOA, the City of Denver has adjusted an Eastbridge sign to make it clearer where criminals and Aurorans should be headed. “We have had too many gun shots and gun incidences in recent weeks to not make some sort of change,” said Stapleton Principal HOA President Paul Harris. “We feel the new sign is an improvement, especially for criminals and Aurorans who have a hard time reading. The symbol should be helpful.” Eastbridge and Bluff Lake residents are hoping the new signage has a positive effect. “At this point, I think we are willing to try anything,” said Bluff Lake resident Adam Miller. “If we aren’t going to get our wall, we need to keep trying other alternatives.” Eastbridge resident Dana Wolfe is also hopeful the signage will make for some positive changes. “Sometimes little things like this can make big changes,” said Wolfe. “Even it diverges 10% of the crime, it can be a big help.” [Read more…] about New Signage Attempts to Push Crime Where it Belongs: Aurora

Recently, a surprising event occurred on the Eastridge through-street Fulton. A driver on their way home to Aurora not only obeyed the stop signs and drove the speed limit, the driver also had their music on at a reasonable volume. According to eyewitness Eric Barnette, the 1990 something sedan drove on Fulton St obeying the traffic laws, and the music in the vehicle was barely audible. “They went slow enough where I should have been able to hear it more clearly,” said Barnette. “I thought something was strange, as normally cars driving through Stapleton to get to Aurora have the music cranked loud, and many times aren’t obeying the traffic laws. This guy seemed to be aware of his surroundings. It was quite remarkable.” [Read more…] about Aurora Resident Driving Through Stapleton Keeps Music at Reasonable Volume

Stapleton mom Kristi Harves had enough. Her kids live a life most all kids outside of Stapleton would do anything for. They have two loving and attentive parents who dote on them. They have friends in the neighborhood, are involved in extracurricular activities, go on great vacations, have nice clothes and toys, and on and on. Yet, somehow with all of that, they find things to complain about. “It’s really unbelievable,” said Kristi. “They have great lives, but inevitably, they will find something to whine about on a daily basis. Whether it’s wanting peanut butter and jelly instead of spaghetti and meatballs, or maybe they didn’t want to wear a particular outfit, or go hiking. There is always something they are finding to grumble about.” After several talks regarding “little things versus big things” and trying to have the kids think globally and understand how bad other people have it, Harves finally decided to try something new. “Nothing was working,” said Harves. “We would talk about kids in other countries, about homeless people, and yet, they can still get mad if their ski coat isn’t the color they wanted. So, I decided to hit ‘em where it hurts. Their wallets.” [Read more…] about Stapleton Mom Starts “Wine” Jar to Reduce Children’s’ Whining

As expected, the ice cream shop being built in the town center, The Constellation, will be the flagship of the Eastbridge Town Center. The store will come complete with a massive artistic architectural project including a replica wing of the Lockheed Constellation airplane. “It is really going to be a great building,” said designer Dave Reynolds. “The building is really going to ‘top off’ the town center, pun intended.” The design is impressive, if not overwhelming, including the giant wing and a fuselage. The length of the piece extends about 30 feet from The Constellation itself, and is about 20 feet off the ground. “We are paying homage to the history of Stapleton,” said Reynolds. [Read more…] about The Constellation Ice Cream Shop to be Cornerstone of Town Center

The RTD General Manager held a press conference this week announcing the train horn will be blowing possibly until the Eastbridge Town Center is completed. “It has to do with a bunch of safety blah, blah,” said RTD GM Dave Genova. “It’s super complicated, involves federal regulations, the Federal Railway Administration, engineering, and a bunch of other things you non-transport types won’t understand,” said Genova. “We are doing whatever we can, so just be patient and don’t ask questions about things you don’t understand and have no ideas of how to solve it. Thank you.” Stapleton resident Sam Jepsen looks forward to several more months of the train horn. “It just makes me feel like we are living in the city,” said Jepsen. “I love hearing the train horns.” [Read more…] about Feeling Horny? Train Noise Gonna Be Here Awhile