William Roberts Elementary to be Renamed

The Denver Board of Education announced today that William Roberts Elementary School was to be renamed Billy Bob’s School of Education. A member of the Board, Jason Clinton, said that the move was intended to make the school seem more urban and less patrician. Said Mr. Clinton, “We want the school to have a more urban vibe – you know – more cool or hip or funky or whatever the kids say nowadays.” He added that “We at Stapleton are very hip really. We can do the Macarena with Gangnam style.”

The name will not take effect until the end of the school year, as to not have an effect on any current printed materials including marketing materials, events, tee shirts, etc. “The new name gives us a less pretentious vibe,” says Principal Halsor. “It is more reflective of the community and the type of students we have. So far, we have not had a lot of push back from the community.”

“I think it has a really cool ring to it,” said Stapleton resident Jen Fox. “Just kind of makes it feel hip, instead of snobbish.” Others agree. “People already call it Bill Roberts instead of William Roberts,” says Justin Hodges. “This kind of just makes it official, instead of feeling like you are using slang when you name the school.”

Not everyone appreciates the upcoming name change. “I don’t hate the new name,” says Holly Retzlaff. “I just don’t think it is necessary to change it. I guess I am kind of big on tradition. I mean, it has been William Roberts for so long, why change it now?” The Board of Education says that extensive research went into the name change including quantitative studies as well as qualitative focus group research. “We found that people overall were fine with the name change,” says Clinton. “And the name that tested the best was Billy Bobs.”

Billy Bob’s School of Education looks forward to a great year in the fall of 2013. “We know that we will continue to do our best as educators,” says Principal Halsor. “The name change simply personifies the school appropriately.”

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