Wife Refuses to Let Husband Hang University of Phoenix Flag

You’ve probably seen them hanging from porches on crisp, fall Saturday mornings: flags adorned with the logos of various colleges, hung by proud alumni on college football gameday.  This simple gesture of school pride has become the source of serious disagreement in the Beatty household.  Husband Bob just wants to hang the flag of his alma mater on Saturday like all the other guys on his block, but his wife will not let him. 

“Don’t get me wrong; he’s a smart guy, and got a great education, but they don’t even have a football team!” exclaims Shelli, Bob’s wife of five years.  Bob earned his degree online, from the University of Phoenix, which may or may not be headquartered in Phoenix, Arizona.  Unlike the so-called “house divided,” where spouses attended rival universities such as Colorado and Nebraska, or Kansas and Missouri, the difference here is that these two attended schools with rival interfaces: one in reality and the other in the virtual world. 

“Yes, I got my degree online, but the U.P. has over 200 campuses, including four in the Denver region,” Bob explains.  Shelli shakes her head dismissively.  “Those aren’t ‘campuses,’ those are crappy office parks in random suburbs!”

Judging by their tones of voice, this house divided won’t be united anytime soon.  Bob sighs reflectively, “She should have seen this coming.  She knew about my Phoenix Eagle pride ever since we were first online dating.”

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3 responses to “Wife Refuses to Let Husband Hang University of Phoenix Flag”

  1. Dori

    Phoenix is a Fire Bird. It is not an Eagle. Bob can show his Phoenix Fire Bird pride best with a Fire Bird car in front of his home instead of hanging a little flag outside like those other various colleges that have football teams. I think it’s so much better doing a car instead of a flag.

  2. Luke

    Most people are under the assumption that an online education is not as good as a traditional education. You know what they say about people who assume? The thing is, I believe going to an online university is much harder than a traditional university because there is no one around to help you if you need it. Of course you can leave an email or post for your teacher to respond, but they have a typical 48 hour turnaround, and sometimes you need an answer immediately. In a traditional classroom you can raise your hand or just walk up to the teacher and ask your question, but not online. Remember how people felt about online dating in the past when it first started? Many were uncomfortable with it, thought there was something wrong with it, even to the point of thinking there was something wrong with the person who online dated. Now it’s the norm, the same way shopping online is, and eventually people start to see that an online education is just as good as any traditional walk-in University. I congratulate Bob on getting his degree. This is what is important, and whether he has pride in his school, his sport, or whatever he feels passionate about, his wife should support him and allow the flag to be raised. It’s not like he’s advertising porn, or that he wants a swastika flag. Have some pride in the hard work and dedication that it took this man to achieve.

  3. Stew

    Oh, Luke…your literal interpretation is adorable!

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