Study: Stapleton Wives Just as Irrational as Other Wives

A recent study conducted by the University of Colorado Hospitals shows that married women in Stapleton are in fact as irrational as married women in the rest of the world. This controversial study flies in the face of Stapleton wives who believed they were a little more rational than other women, but it does confirm what Stapleton dads have been thinking for years.

“The big issue here is the transplant issue,” says Doctor of Psychiatry Greg Halsor. “None of these women were born in Stapleton, and all moved here. It is possible that the next generation of Stapleton women will be more rational, but there is no evidence suggesting that just living here will make you more rational.”

The study was conducted by taking a control group of women (all irrational by nature) and then comparing their answers and reactions with a group of Stapleton wives. “We asked a series of questions about what they would do in situations, how they would respond to a spouse in situations, etc.,” said Dr. Halsor. Then, we simply compared the results. We came to a unified, strong conclusion that there is no evidence to suggest that Stapleton women are rational.”

When asked if there is any treatment for irrational behavior, Dr. Halsor offered very little help. “All evidence suggests that if you are a women, where you are born or where you live will have no effect on making you rational.” To date, genetic scientists are working on isolating the “rational” gene and attempting to create female mice that are rational. There has been little success, however, as anytime this gene is implanted into a female mouse, the female simply turns into a male anatomically.

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