Stapleton’s “Dad Bods” Excited for Pool Season

man with pot belly drinking coffee in his underwearOverall, Stapleton is a pretty fit community, with running clubs and trails, several CrossFit organizations, a rec center, Orange Theory, among several other ways for residents to keep in shape. Traditionally, the Stapleton women are the ones who turn heads at the pool, but this year might be a different story with the emergence of the “dad bod” trend.

“Dad bods are what is in right now,” said style guru and person who rarely works out Mark Fisher. “Chiseled abs and buff biceps are very 90’s and 00’s. Girls are looking for a guy who can be comfortable with himself, enjoy food and beverages without the constant worry of getting some extra fat. The extra fat tells women, ‘hey, I know who I am, and I am proud of it. I’m a fun-loving guy who doesn’t need to hide behind being in good physical condition.’ So, guys who have had these great dad bods for years are now excited to show them off, after two decades of hiding out. I think the female population is really going to enjoy this summer. The summer of the dad bod.”

Stapleton dad Sean Knight is now unexpectedly excited for summer. “I used to dread going to the pool knowing there was going to be some ripped dads there making me feel self-conscience about my body,” said Knight. “But, this year, I’ll be shedding my swim shirt, and now I bet those in-shape guys will be the ones who are self-conscience.  I’ll be like, ‘check this fellas. Look who doesn’t have defined abs in any way.’ Pun intended, I will be making a big splash with my perfect dad bod.” Dad bod owner Kyle Glynn agrees. “Finally, a trend I can get behind,” says Glynn. “I don’t have the perfect dad bod yet, but I am close. I need to lose three to five pounds, and I think it will be perfect. Nothing is sexier than letting the world know, ‘you know, I really don’t care that much about my health.’ Maybe it’s a rebel thing, I’m not sure. Whatever the reason, I love the trend.”

Stapleton men are especially happy to know they will be turning the heads of hot Stapleton women. “The chicks here keep in such great shape,” said Keith Hoffman. “I used to never even think a guy in my kind of condition would make them turn their heads, but now I know different. It’s cool to know I may be THE guy all the girls are talking about at the pool.” Style guru Fisher says the ‘dad bod’ trend is expected to continue for as long as men control the media. In an effort to make sure the ‘sexy dad bod’ perception is not debunked, no women were interviewed for this article.

*Editor’s note: I feel this sudden change in what the female population finds sexy will ultimately land me on the cover of several magazines, and finally, People Magazine’s Sexiest Man, which has eluded me for years. In college, I recall my roommate Joel Johnson saying, “girls like a little gut on a guy,” to which I sarcastically responded, “yes, Johnson, the same way we like a little gut on a girl.” Looks like my main man Joel was a pioneer.

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