Stapleton Parents Arranging Marriages of Young Children

Residents in the upper middle class community of Stapleton have really started taking advantage of the close quarters and highly social community. In Stapleton, it is pretty easy to get to know your neighbors, your neighbors’ friends, your neighbors’ kids, and your neighbors kids’ friends. For these reasons, one can easily figure out the kind of people they want to hang out with, and the kind of kids they want their children spending time with.

“One night we were having dinner with some friends in our neighborhood, and just kind of joked around about our kids getting married someday,” says resident Shena Collins. “Then, the conversation just kind of spiraled into a serious one of, ‘why not’ and we decided to move forward with it. We have not regretted it one bit.”

When other people heard about what was going on between the Collins and Herold families, they decided to jump on board as well. “The biggest thing in a community like this is that you don’t want to be left behind,” says North Central Park resident Tessa Huff. “If you don’t jump on now, you could end up having to marry your child off to one of those lice kids at Westerly. No one wants that.”

There is nothing completely legal put in place, but families are using loosely put together contracts which stipulate the future marriage and the obligations of each family. “It has long been known that arranged marriages are typically more successful than other marriages,” said Collins. “This is just another example of us showing how much we love our kids, and how much we want the best for them. Mostly by controlling everything they do.”

Over 120 couples have essentially married off their children, the oldest kids being 11, and the youngest being six months. “I definitely think this trend is going to continue,” says Huff. “Being able to choose who you will have to spend tens of holidays with is really rewarding.”

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