Stapleton Mother Wins 2011 Mother of the Year Award

We are so honored to have had the opportunity to speak with the 2011 Mother of the Year recipient, Stapleton’s own Shelley Mayo. We asked Shelley a few questions about how she obtained this prestigious award. As I entered Shelley’s home, the aroma of fresh baked cookies fills my nose and makes my mouth water. The sound of her three children happily playing and singing instantly calms me and brings me back to my days as a child when life was safe and simple. Shelley and I sit down on her oversized couch with down filled cushions and sip on a homemade cup of warm chai tea. What follows is this enlightening interview:

Staff Writer 3: Shelley how do you give back to the community?
Shelley: In addition to always volunteering in my childrens’ school, I am the founder of the charitable organization, Cats and Dogs Without Limbs. These poor animals are victims of the random land mines in the Stapleton Parks. I encourage my friends and family to write checks to this charity at Christmas and on birthdays instead of giving us gifts. This way I avoid accumulating a mountain of annoying toys in my home and some fortunate canines and felines get a prosthetic leg or two.

Staff Writer 3: So tell me more about these land mines.
Shelley: Next question please.

Staff Writer 3: How do you use Facebook to positively convey your excellent parenting skills to your friends?
Shelley: I am the first to post pictures of all my children at their events. I always wish them a happy birthday and tell the world how blessed I am to have my little angels in my life. I make a point to mention God in my posts. I also post on FB every time they have so much as a paper cut to show my 678 friends how much I care about their health. Everyone wants to know when MY child is barfing up a lung. I get so many responses that I am certain that people know I care.

Staff Writer 3: So Shelley, many mothers are wondering how you effectively discipline your children.
Shelley: Well in public, I use the ever popular Love and Logic style and calmly give my kids choices when they are misbehaving. When we all get in the car though, I rip those little f#@*rs a new one. They get three hours of “quiet time” in their rooms when they get home.
Another tactic is The Avoidance Method. This is very effective during the school year, of course, because I don’t have to deal with them all week. During the summer, I just put them in day camps. With my free time, I can focus on philanthropic things like Cats and Dogs Without Limbs, Facebook, and work on writing my new book, The Avoidance Method for Stay at Home Moms.

Staff Writer 3: How do you show your support for the extracurricular activities in which your children participate?
Shelley: I’ll give you an example. At my daughter’s soccer game, I calmly sit on the side lines and clap and tell her how hard she’s working that day. I also clap for the other team and make sure all the other parents see this. I look at some of those other parents screaming their fool heads off like these three year olds are playing for the world cup! So anyway, if my daughter does a good job, she gets a treat in return. If she doesn’t score any goals, I wait until we get home and I tell her how she has shamed the family and her every move is a reflection on my parenting. I call that good old fashioned guilt.

Staff Writer 3: OK then. You mentioned God in one of your previous responses. How does religion fit into your lifestyle?
Shelley: We go to church without fail every Sunday and religious holiday. I have to say we are the most religious people we know. My husband even fits into the mold of that God-fearing man who is either tapping every girl in sight, clandestinely sleeping with men, or embezzling money. I don’t really care which one as long as no one finds out!

Staff Writer 3: So Shelley, should I not mention the part about your husband in my article?
Shelley: Um….you can do what you want because I have already won the award. I will just ask the public and God for forgiveness and come out shining brighter than ever.

Staff Writer 3: Wow. Well that seems like a great place to end our interview. Thanks so much for your time Shelley and keep up the, uh, good work at representing the fine Stapleton community.

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